I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted 5 months ago by u/throwaway945983. Originally posted 6 months ago on r/AskWomenOver30.

light editing for spelling/readability.

How do I negotiate my salary while having impostor syndrome? [June 02 2021]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/nqhgk5/how_do_i_negotiate_my_salary_while_having/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Wise women of Reddit, I tell myself that I don't deserve to be in this role I have been eyeing for a while, and now that I get an offer pending discussion on starting salary, I am chickening out. I definitely do not have strong technical skills I really do not see why they are hiring me. I have gotten many rejections and I GET why I am rejected.

But I have bills to pay and mouths to feed, I need and WANT the pay to be comfortable. Any advice?

Relevant Comment:

• A poster pointed out that jobs aren't necessarily just about skill, because skills can be taught, but often things like fitting in with the existing team and not being arrogant or difficult to work with are much more important because people aren't as willing to adapt in those ways. OOP: I'm in tech as well, and while they didn't have a session specifically for 'technical interview', I know I didn't answer the technical questions very well. My coding skills are honestly subpar- I need to look at my notes to remember the syntax, and I don't know a lot of packages, and I need to google a lot, but they didn't test my coding skills or anything. Out of all the interviews I had, only one company said I was the top for their coding test. One question I even flat out said I'm really not sure, I don't know enough to confidently talk about it. I didn't really play it cool either, I know it's supposed to be a 2-way street and all that, but I was really excited about the role, it was related to something I had done in my past role that I wish I could take on further. I even said I was excited with a very excited face. I cringed so hard afterwards. So overeager! What I do know I got right was what the job role is all about. They asked me if I am comfortable working a certain way, and I told them that was what I expected and explained how I think the job would entail. It sounds a lot like a technical job, but I know it's not, and it's a lot of people management and would use some technical knowledge on the side. They said that was exactly what they expect, and now the HR is saying they are keen to make an offer so I have a salary discussion soon. I just feel like it's too good to be true, I have had rejections just for one thing wrong, and the interviews for this one just seem informal, like chatting to get to know each other, and they are really kind and respectful as well. This role at this company fit all the things that I'm looking for in a job right now and I just can't believe it, I'm trying to think what the catch is going to be.

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UPDATE: How to negotiate salary when you have imposter syndrome [June 05 2021]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/nsrsvw/update_how_to_negotiste_salary_when_you_have/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

I asked for the figure I want. The HR manager didn't seem to try and sell the job to me with other benefits (I asked if there are other benefits so we can close the gap between her figure and mine, and she said she doesn't know the benefits for my pay band and will get back to me). She mentioned other candidates as well and now I am terrified I won't get the job at all.

I am trying not to be so stressed but I really am.

Relevant Comments:

• Poster says that they expect candidates to negotiate and can't imagine them rrescinding the offer to OOP just for trying to negotiate. OOP: Thank you so much! I can't breathe every time I think about it. I watched so many videos and read so many articles on salary negotiation and I feel like I didn't really get a chance to negotiate. I chose a stupid day as well for the meeting (Friday) and now I am going to be stressing about it the whole weekend.
• I am interviewing elsewhere but this role is something I am really interested in and I know how far I can take it in my career. It fits my previous experience and it is something I would have wanted to explore if I didn't go back to school for Masters now. Yes I did go high, and in my thank you email after the discussion I mentioned that I appreciate it if she can see what she can do to get me closer to the figure I aspire to, but having said that I also acknowledge my growth potential in the company and that this will be a valuable experience for me. Basically I want her to try but I am giving her an out as well. I'm not sure if this comes across as pushy or desperate and I am just stressing about it since yesterday.

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UPDATE: How to negotiate salary when you have imposter syndrome [June 28 2021]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/o9h8rt/update_how_to_negotiate_salary_when_you_have/

They met me halfway (between what I asked for and what they said was the highest they could go), and I signed the offer! I definitely still feel a lot of anxiety about this job, and I know I would probably still feel this way even after I start the job, but I'm trying to write down and pinpoint why I feel this way and if it's something like a skill I lack, I'm going to come up with a plan to address it. Also 'what would a white male do' is a mantra in my head when I really need the confidence boost.

Thank you everyone for the support and reassurance!

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I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted 5 months ago by u/throwaway945983. Originally posted 6 months ago on r/AskWomenOver30.