I am not the original poster. This is a repost sub.

This was posted 2 years ago by u/register2014. I've added some additional posts that I found while putting this together, as well as a recent update. The update is on Part 4, as this was too big to put all in one post.

Trigger warning: drug use, more details about how drugs feel than you could shake a stick at, terminally bad decisions (quite literally)

Obviously, these being AMAs, there are a ridiculous number of comments to wade through. That said, I've done my best, and my main goal was to put any new or unique insights in and repeat the same concepts over and over again. Also in my digging I found posts that appear to be by SpontaneousH, though started by burner accounts of his originally & than answered by his SpontaneousH account. Dates are listed to paint a fuller picture of the devolution and recovery.

Editing done as needed for readability, though I left some of the writing he did during drug trips as-is.

Because of length, I have split this into several posts.

If you want a TLDR, here you go:

Privileged dude who claims to have little drug experience tries heroin for "fun". Asserts he can just try it once and it's fine. Turns out, he gets hooked on H, has an impressively extensive prior drug experience including previous rehabs for pot. Spends years on a defiant downward spiral on drugs where pretty much everybody and everything is to blame except for himself. Gets sober about 5 years later doing the exact program he originally disdained (AA). Has stayed clean & sober, even through the pandemic.

Part 1

Originally posted by u/SpontaneousH 12 years ago on r/IAmA.

Sept 14th 2009 - I did Heroin yesterday. I am not a drug user and have never done anything besides pot back when I was a teen, AMA

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9ke63/i_did_heroin_yesterday_i_am_not_a_drug_user_and/

(this is a little long) I have never been a drug user, I drink once in a while and smoked pot years ago back when I was a teen in high school a few times and that's it. I'm 24 now, have a masters and a well paying full time job.

Yesterday I was walking through Washington Square Park where I pass every day and there are always people there looking to sell drugs (not in the park anymore due to cameras, but it is well known you can meet a dealer than and do the transaction elsewhere these days). They usually don't solicit drugs to you unless you stop to stand around near one of them for some reason or look like you're looking for something.

Yesterday I happened to stop by a row of benches to check some messages on my phone when a dealer on the bench to my right asks me if I need anything. My life has been pretty boring the last few years and I feel like I haven't really lived, taken any risks, or done anything crazy so I figured what the hell maybe I'll buy some pot, it's been a while.

I said yeah and after asking my several times if I'm a cop he gives me his number and tells me to meet him at a fast food place several blocks away and he will 'hook me up.' I say alright and nervously check to make sure I have cash and go meet this shady looking dude. We sit down and after hounding me asking if I'm a cop he asks what I need, I tell him I just want a dime bag and he says something like "Naw sorry man, I only sell half ounces, you can take that and I've got some coke and H."

At this point I didn't want to buy half an ounce of pot, I probably never smoked more than an eighth in my life but then I started considering his last word, Heroin. I've heard so much about it and how crazy addictive it is and seen it in the movies and TV (I'm thinking The Wire here, one of my favorite shows) and it really started to intrigue me. I've always wondered what it would be like to do Heroin. Out of no where I say I'll take the H and we do the deal there. I give him the cash under the table and he slides me a small order of fries with a little stamped wax baggie in it then he tells me to let him leave first.

I put it in my pocket then nervously race home my heart racing cannot believing what I just did. I held onto that bag in my pocket palms sweating the whole ride home. When I get home I open the bag and dump some golden flakes and powder on my glass coffee table. At this point I don't even know what to do, I know you can snort heroin but it looked all flaky so I try to remember how they did it in the movies but they always seem to inject it in film so I start googling "how to snort Heroin' like an idiot and do a little research on the stuff and how much to take.

I used a card to get it into a fine powder and move a small 'bump' to the side which I inhaled through a dollar bill. I didn't feel anything yet so I snorted a small line which was essentially half the bag (there was very little inside).

I waited and in a few minutes I had the most pleasurable feeling of pure relaxation and bliss wash over me. I just sat there and everything felt amazing. I nodded off and it was great, I had the TV on but wasn't paying attention, I must have sat around for 4 hours doing nothing but feel total pleasure. It was like a full body orgasm times 10 that kept going on and on.

When I would nod off it felt like I was in a pure conscious lucid dream like state, sometimes it felt like I was leaving my body. At this point I did the rest of it and stayed up all night and must have been high for 10 hours straight. i might have slept at one point, it's hard to tell the difference when you nod off and everything feels good regardless, just the feeling of being under a blanket was amazing.

I was blown away by the power of this drug and just how orgasmic it felt. I never understood why people did drugs before and got so hooked on them but now I see why. I have the urge to do it again but I will resist and not do it, at least not for a long time. I understand the addiction potential and how someone could easily tear apart their lives with this stuff.

Heroin is pure powdered pleasure, I actually feel proud of myself for having the balls to do something this crazy and I feel like it was a valuable life experience and my window into another world and part of society. I will never forget the day I did heroin. Now, ask me anything.

New Edit: I have a lot of respect for most posters and drug addicts with experience here but this Redditor/addict is why people have the negative stereotypes they do about junkies: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9ke63/i_did_heroin_yesterday_i_am_not_a_drug_user_and/c0d6prn

Edit: Please no more comments telling me I'm going to be a homeless addict dying of an overdose now, don't lecture me with all of your misconceptions and lack of any real knowledge or experience about the drug. I understand if you know someone who has been hurt by it, we all do. Any drug can ruin lives, please ask me questions instead of trying to lecture me and do some research first before spewing lies.

Update 2: I don't regret this at all and I see a lot of talk about how cocaine isn't as bad as heroin and people telling anyone considering trying a hard drug to do coke instead. I've known and seen a lot of heavy coke users, many who have become addicted and ODed and I find it disturbing that people think coke is acceptable because some 'higher class' circles find it socially acceptable. I'm thinking the young Wall Street and college crowds here who associate it with money and being cool and is easily manageable to use for recreation, while society tells them that Heroin is for the poor and destitute and leads to automatic addiction and suffering.

So I plan to try cocaine the next chance I get and compare the two in terms of effects and experience. Doing Heroin was memorable and life changing and I know I can handle anything once. I've done my research on coke and know the risks, so if anyone has any questions or opinions on that matter feel free to chime in. Whether it is to tell me I'm a fucking idiot or to give me advice, whatever. This is an experiment and an adventure in life, I'll report back once I try it.

Relevant Comments:

• When asked if he'd seen Requiem for a Dream: Yes, great film, watched it many times... Movies like that are what led to the curiosity, I know it was an overinflated super anti-drug movie but still a good one at that. I'm not about to go steal my mother's TV and push it to Coney Island to pawn it every week to buy Heroin. I don't think people understand that you can try anything and you won't instantly become addicted.
• I always passed judgment on drug users, and almost everyone does, especially about Heroin. Why not try it first hand and get a better understanding of what causes it. One time will not make you an addict despite what your high school health teacher and society want you to believe.
• I appreciate your concern, however I have self control. And no I'm not an idiot for buying in the park, that's how this whole thing happened. I didn't go out looking for Heroin which you would know if you read my post and it was a spontaneous thing. I'm not doing it again any time soon if ever and would never IV it.
• I felt pretty in control the whole time.

​

​

Sept 16th 2009 - I am the guy who tried Heroin for fun, as promised I tried Cocaine a little while ago and just came down, AMA.

https://web.archive.org/web/20090922225502/https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9l9xo/i_am_the_guy_who_tried_heroin_for_fun_as_promised/

I found a source for Cocaine, it wasn't difficult, it was expensive though. The stuff is decent as far as I can tell, it was all rocked together and had to be crushed, numbed my lips pretty well but I know that isn't always an indicator of quality.

Anyway I did about 3/4 of a gram over several hours. I definitely felt the rush and euphoria but overall was underwhelmed and expected more from all the hype and popularity of the drug. At my peak intake my face was getting numb, I had to keep rinsing my nose with warm water and blowing it to keep it clear then dry it out before doing more. I would say I did a fair amount and got the real experience.

The high is very short lived, half an hour to an hour tops before I had to do another line, nothing line 6 hours or more of pleasure on H. I was a little disappointed and underwhelmed, it is very expensive for what it does and I see no potential for addiction with me. I have some left and don't feel like finishing it. I can see why some people might get addicted, the ritual and constant snorting could be a problem for some people if they like the high and this sort of thing.

My nose is all clogged right now and I have to keep rinsing it out and blowing it to try and clear it, there is some bleeding in one nostril from trying to clear it (I didn't bleed during) and feel very dried out and have a slight headache. Overall Heroin is on another level, cheaper, and a completely different level of euphoria and a much preferable feel for me. I am scared of craving Heroin again and could live without coke, maybe if I didn't try Heroin first I would be more impressed and have a slightly different view, but I don't think any substance can blow me away now, maybe psychedelics have that potential.... AMA.

EDIT:

I just crushed up what I have left, about .3 and I have two fat lines about half an inch wide and 3" long laid out, I'm going to split them up and do it all in under half an hour while drinking to see if I can push it a little more with the remains.

Editor's Note: This was written from a different account and while deleted, the wayback machine delivers! SpontaneousH's answers as though he is the original poster and the writing style matches up, so I am marking this as his.

Relevant Comments:

• Question by Commenter: Disregarding health risks, make a list from most enjoyable to least of the substances you have taken. OOP's response:

- Heroin

- I imagine all other opiates/opioids in order of their strength would go here, no reason to try them now though.

- Klonopin

- Xanax

- Nitrous Oxide

- Cocaine

- Adderall

- Ritalin

- Valium

- Marijuana

- Alcohol

- A nice dose of getting your head smashed into a brick wall for 8 hours or 15 minutes

- DXM

- Salvia

• It felt euphoric and dangerous to be doing something regarded as 'hardcore' and 'high class.' To describe the feeling it definitely makes you more alert, want to talk a lot, very confident, and your senses are enhanced by the euphoria and your body feels lighter. It made me want to get up and do something but at the time I would be just as happy sitting and watching a movie. It's hard to compare to pot, honestly pot is more comparable to Heroin than to coke since they have some similar effects. Pot makes you lazy and buzzed, Coke makes you confident and feel like you can do anything while feeling euphoric. I don't know how many lines total, over 10 of varying sizes. Coming down feels how I described it, dull headache and kinda of depressed feeling while being very dried out and your nose feels like it closes up and crusts over which sucks dealing with. I'm sure longer binges would feel much worse.
• Klonopin is much longer lasting and feels better than Xanax. Any time I take too much Xanax and mix in a little alcohol I end up hearing I pissed on someone/something then somehow wake up naked on the floor of a random bathroom or in a public park having no clue what happened for the past 6 hours. The right dose and no alcohol feels good though.
• DXM was 8 hours of not being able to move, type, sleep, walk, see straight, or do anything and it made me feel like I had a bad headache, ringing in my ears, and I just wanted it to end. Salvia was 15 minutes of feeling intense fear and confusion and feelings of dying with no cool visuals or hallucinations. I made the mistake of thinking both were flukes and tried them again, they weren't and I can't decide which I hate more, maybe DXM.
• To a suggestion that he try World of Warcraft next: That is one thing I will never touch. You should try Heroin Hero to take the edge off, man, you just run around and chase a dragon....
• Poster comment: So...are you like a wine taster, but with drugs? OOP: I guess I'm becoming one, although that would be more accurate if I was sampling different batches of certain drugs, and I don't want to do that and end up addicted to one. I just want to experience what the world of drugs has to offer. I lived my life only seeing drugs through media and word of mouth and I feel it's time to see for myself and set the record straight, and I have no regrets so far and it has been mind blowing. Heroin is a little scary because it was just so good.
• Alright people I just blew all the coke I had left and had about 10 drinks, I'm pretty fucked up and sort of see the appeal in doing this. People say I put Heroin on a pedestal but you shouldn't need to try this hard to get half as high, yeah it's more active and social but so what?

​

Sept 22nd 2009 - I can't stop winking, I woke up tripping, & I'm tripping right now. I was flying through space with the Reddit aliens just now, AMA

https://web.archive.org/web/20091015172729/https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9myxh/i_cant_stop_winking_i_woke_up_tripping_im/

too hard to type with doubl vision but ask me almost anything. I'm the 'wine taster of drugs' from the heroin/coke iamas. Last night I went ojut to ffind something else and got ripped off by two street dealers, one literally sold me a bag of artificial sweetener and the other some mystery white rock that looks like crack. Neither did anything. So I wet home and figured I would give DXM another shot. I took 350mg at 6am and 100mg 10 minutes ago. It's hard to look at the screen but ill do my best to type and answer questions.

Oh and dude, these captchas are hard enough sober, when you have double vision and feel like you need to keep winking to see and are tripping it takes some time. I look at it and that wavy web starts moving and growing out of my screen, fuck.

EDIT: Just took another 100mg

Editor's Note: This was written from a different account and while deleted, the wayback machine delivers! SpontaneousH's answers as though he is the original poster and the writing style matches up, so I am marking this as his.

Relevant Comments:

• I will stop using soon enough there are a few psychedelics I want to try but have no connections to get them.

Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/qnhz8o/i_did_heroin_yesterday_i_am_not_a_drug_user_and/