I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

The original poster is u/bwinsy and this is reposted with her permission. It was originally posted 4 years ago in r/AskWomenOver30.

Dealing with parents who aren’t financially responsible and are nearing retirement.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/7o4pps/dealing_with_parents_who_arent_financially/

My parents divorced around 20 years ago based on financial reasons. Basically my father was tired of my mother running up the family’s financial debt. My father bailed her out twice during their marriage.

Fast forward 20 years and I just found out my mother has a negative account balance over $100, late on mortgage payments, and owes more on her house than the house is worth. In addition to her current job, she gets a military retirement check every month. She says she is going to retire in 5 years with 2 social security checks ( my father is deceased), military check, and 401k.

Should I give her money to bail her out of her situation now even though there’s a possibility she will not seek financial help and end up back in debt? Should I just give her a $100-$200 every month? Should I do anything at all?

What would you do?

Relevant Comment:

• When asked if she'd addressed it directly with her mom: I haven’t had a heart to heart with her but I touched on it here and there.

  Update: Dealing with parents who aren’t financially responsible and are nearing retirement.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/9dzmu9/update_dealing_with_parents_who_arent_financially/

I just want to update you all on the issues I was having with my mother:

My mother lied to me about her negative account balance being over $100, lied about her being late on mortgage payments, and owing more on her house than the house is worth. She was basically trying to scam me out of money. I am glad I didn't give her any money to bail her out of "her situation". When I called her out on her lies and BS, her response was that she will not own up to anything and that it is what it is so deal with it. In addition to the lies, she is just all around petty and just finds ways to constantly f**k with me. She is also jealous and envious of me and expresses it by playing the copy cat game. Why? I have no clue. She's not an open and honest person. This woman lies about baking a cake.

Finally, I am seeking out a therapist about my relationship with my mother. I am thinking about cutting her out of my life for good.

Relevant Comment/Kind of a Final Update:

• I spoke to and saw my mother for the first time in 5 years as of January 2018. That’s a long break and it’s still not working out. After she physically assaulted me this past Sunday, I’m done! She’s dead to me.