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This is not just a repost, but a transcription of a repost of a series of posts that no longer exist and were written by a redditor that is banned. I recently remembered this story and it's just too good not to share, so I dug up the details.

The posts are all imaged based, so I've transcribed the posts so as to not deal with uploading photos (yes, my laziness is such that typing things out is easier than figuring out how to get photos uploaded in order).

This was originally written by u/omegaweapon (aka Abs) on r/ChoosingBeggars. It (and other stories) are now available on the OOP's website: https://www.taint.net.au. He retells some of his stories on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF0-fkWZUuRJS-ZNg_UpaUA

Amber the 10% Chick Part 1

Backstory: Abs has given 3 arcade machines to a charity. This charity is a youth hostel/outreach program and they have a lot of people coming and going. The charity had heard that they can make a lot of money from arcade machines, but their budget is very, very tight. Abs gave them the 3 machines with no down payment and makes a deal with them: Abs will take 10% of the money the machines makes and put that 10% towards the cost of the arcade machines. When that tallies up to the cost of the machines, they will be considered paid for, free and clear. This all worked fine until Amber took over.

https://www.taint.net.au/post/amber-the-10-chick-part-1

Amber: Hi there, I've replaced Nicole at <Charity> and I can't find the keys to the lock on the change drawer for any of our machines.

Abs: Hi Amber, the keys are with me, as my guys are the ones who empty the change and tally it every fortnight.

Amber: Hi Abs? is it? I don't know why you would have the keys when they're our units. I'll need them back please. We should be the only ones with the keys.

Abs: I have the keys because the units were given to you free on the proviso that I get 10% of the takings until they're paid off.

Amber: No, we purchased them therefore we should have the keys. Surely there was a payment plan attached when this was negotiated.

Abs: That is the payment plan. Since the funds weren't available at that time, I decided to give them to your organisation anyways and take a small percentage each fortnight until they were paid in full. Then the keys are all yours. If you'd like to arrange a direct debit instead we can do that.

Amber: So you're saying that you don't trust us with the keys so you need to come out and count the money yourself?

Abs: No it was just a mutual agreement at the time, but since you put it that way. Yes. Definitely.

Amber: I'll need the keys please. How do I know that you're not the one stealing??

Abs: My staff count the money in front of your stuff, then your staff verifies the count and signs a slip. They both get a copy. I believe that's how you would know.

Amber: Ok, it's simple. I'll get the locks changed on each one then. Thank you.

Abs: Sebastian and I had a long chat prior to delivery. He advised that the organisation lacked funding and if we could work something out. I said yes, I'll give them to you and take a small percentage, interest free, until they're paid off. You are exhausting my good will now.

Amber: Sebastian had no authority to approve this. Don't think you can pull the wool over my eyes. The locks will be changed and you won't extort us further.

Abs: Extort? They cost me 6k. I gave them to you free. 10% of the takings goes towards paying them off, you keep 90%. How is that hard to understand?

Amber: They're not free if you're taking 10%. What if one week they make a hundred dollars and the following week they make a thousand? You are taking the same fee regardless. You are a thief stealing from a charity.

Abs: Ok, you're officially the second stupidest person I know. I'm the first for deciding to help your organisation evidently. In your scenario, the first week $10 goes toward your payment. The following week $100 goes toward your payment. And changing the locks makes you the thief, Amber. Just so you know.

Amber: So now you're resorting to insulting me because you got caught. So the more the machines make, the more you take? How is that even fair? We are done here. Either the keys or I change the locks.

Abs: I take that back. You are not the second stupidest person I know. I'll bring the keys tomorrow.

Amber: I thought so. I'm in from 9am through till 2:30pm. Don't play games with people, you'll eventually find someone better than you.

Abs: I'll be taking the machines with me though. I'll see you at 9am. Hopefully you won't trigger another migraine.

Amber: I'll have the police waiting. Good luck with that!

Abs: No need. I'll bring the sheriff with me. I'm sure he'll explain it to you very very slowly.

Amber: The sheriff won't come out at a days notice. Nice try though but you're messing with someone above your pay grade. You'll be leaving in handcuffs. Bye!

Abs: His name is <sheriff's name> and his number is <sheriff's number>. You can call him personally, for verify with <local> Police Station. I'll call him and let him know to expect your call.

Amber: It's probably a friend of yours who will also be arrested for impersonating an officer of the law. Not very smart are you...I'll humour you though.

Abs: You're awesome.

<some time later>

Amber: He explained it alot better than you did. You could have been more professional and explained it in layman's terms. We're not all tradesmen. I want this paid off asap as I do not wish to deal with you any further.

Abs: That's a pretty s***** apology Amber. I'll be there at 9am to collect my units. I'll write a cheque for the amount paid so far. Don't choke on that foot love.

Amber: Don't you worry, I'll have this sorted out.

Abs: No you won't. Good luck! Bye!

Amber the 10% Chick Part 2

https://www.taint.net.au/post/amber-the-10-chick-reddit-update

Stop blowing up my inbox you heathens!

I'm at work so this is the quick and dirty phone sex version.

Unfortunately it was a phone conversation. One of the directors caught me on the phone and apologised on behalf of everyone there, asking for the units back.

I told him i was sorry but i rebranded them and gave them to another charity. I wanted an apology from the sentient hairstyle, Amber, not the other staff.

He said Hairstyle has been moved to "fundraising" an intern level job and on probation till further notice.

I recommended that the nervous intern (Vanessa) that Hairstyle made sit at the front desk when i came to repossess the machines, be made treasurer, since Vanessa was studying Finance at Uni.

Director agreed and begged me to make them another 3 units. I said i wanted a written apology from the hairstyle.

He advised that hairstyle refused so i said no soup for you.

They tugged at some heart strings and made a good point at how it wasn't their fault, so i agreed to build them 3 units, paid upfront.

Hairstyle in the meantime is claiming she'd been treated unfairly and is lodging some kind of complaint against the organisation.

Being internet famous now with a whole 6 followers has it's benefits.

Intern on the day said "hey, are you...?" And i nodded and said "yes, yes I am" but she she claimed she was referring to if i was going to pay for the Mars bar i took from the donation thing. I won't let it get to my head.

Ok love you bye

Amber the 10% Chicks finds the Reddit Posts

https://www.taint.net.au/post/amber-the-10-chick-part-3

<missed a call>

less than a minute later: <missed a call>

less than a minute later: Amber: It's Amber from <Charity> call me now!

a minute later: Amber: It's Amber I saw your screen shot of our conversation on Facebook! Call me NOW!

<missed a call> x 4 in 2 minutes

Amber: I did not give you permission nor authority to upload our private conversation to social media!! I have forwarded everything to our legal department. Ignoring this won't make it go away! You need to call me.

<missed a call>

Amber: Call me now! I want this removed immediately!

<three minutes later>

Amber: This is now in the hands of our legal team! I hope you have a good solicitor mate.

<about an hour later>

Abs: OH MY GOD! You botched surgery! He's not answering, let's blow up his fucking phone and annoy him into picking up, What a great idea! I'm not busy or anything. I sit here waiting for your call everyday. I look forward to hearing from your legal team, we can laugh at you together.

<two minutes later>

Amber: I beg your pardon! You uploaded a private and confidential conversation between us and humiliated me in the process. Take it down before things get worse. I won't ask again.

<missed a call>

Amber: ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!

Abs: No. Since your "legal department" is involved, I'd prefer that you screech at me in writing. Also, due to the rules of the post, there was no identifying info, despite people begging me for it.

Amber: The staff at my office know it's me by reasonable assumption. Take it down NOW!

Abs: That's tragic. Oh well, gotta go. Have fun now.

Amber: I'd love to see your face when you get trounced by our legal team!

Abs: Great, I'll send you a pic. Please forward all legal correspondence to my lawyer richard_[email protected].

Amber: I will!

Abs: Love you!

Fin