I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted six years ago by u/WhatToDoNaow on r/relationships

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My (21F) boyfriend (23M, 10 months) just told me today he doesn't like the idea of present-giving and I shouldn't expect any for Christmas. I've already spent $100 on him.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3wzgyp/my_21f_boyfriend_23m_10_months_just_told_me_today/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=relationships&utm_content=t3_3xylyz

I've been dating Rob since February and I thought things were going really well until today. I know it's already ridiculously late to speak about presents and I wish we'd discussed this earlier, I just assumed even if we hadn't spoken about giving presents we would still be exchanging some. Well, today I brought up that I couldn't wait for Christmas and I was wondering what my parents were going to get me, and he started going off about he is so against presents and the idea of gifts. I was taken aback and asked, "so your not giving me anything?" And he said nah. He told me he's never bought anything for anyone so I shouldn't expect to be different. We spoke for a long while about why and such, but it's not important as in the end he still isn't going to give me anything.

I feel as if things have changed since this conversation, in only a few hours. I feel as if I'm obviously not too important to him if he hasn't gone out of his way to get me even a tiny gift. I made it clear I do like giving and receiving presents, and I told him I'd already bought his, so he said he'd take his then. Is it wrong of me to not want to give him his present if I won't be receiving one? I think it's a little selfish he's going to accept his present without giving me anything.

I don't want to break up, but I wondering how important this relationship is to him. This may sound melodramatic, but I've never been with someone with such odd views on Christmas. What do you guys think? Should I take his present back? Should I give it to him and ask if he'll make an exception and buy me at least a little something? Or should I keep the presents for myself...?

Also, if things were to go downhill, is this s ridiculous reason to break up over? Have you ever met someone with similar opinions? Thanks in advance!

TLDR - My boyfriend of 10 months doesn't want to give me a present for Xmas as he doesn't believe in the idea of presents. But he still wants to take his present from me though since I've already bought it.

[CRAZY UPDATE] My (21F) boyfriend (23M, 10 months) just told me today he doesn't like the idea of present-giving and I shouldn't expect any for Christmas. I've already spent $100 on him.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3xylyz/crazy_update_my_21f_boyfriend_23m_10_months_just/

Original - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3wzgyp/my_21f_boyfriend_23m_10_months_just_told_me_today/

Firstly, thank you so much guys. I received so many helpful comments and messages and I'm truly very grateful. It was nice to see everyone's opinions and have some insight.

Hello. Lots of shit has happened since I wrote this post, and it's been pretty hectic. I decided to keep the gift I got him. It was two games for the PS4, and because I like gaming and I didn't have those games, I figured I'd keep them for myself. I knew taking them back would be pointless because I'd end up buying something similar anyway. So, I opened them as I was feeling way too stressed about this and played them happily. It did cheer me up a bit, and so did calling a few friends.

So, I decided to speak to him. I went over to his house and I asked him if this meant I'd not be getting presents for my birthday or Valentine's either, and he said those holidays were different. Apparently the only holiday he was against giving gifts on is Christmas. This confused me even more, as if he's against present-giving, shouldn't it be for ALL holidays and not just one? I asked him if it had to do with religious reasons and he said no, he just disliked the idea of Christmas and that was it. He had been brought up thinking it wasn't normal to give presents on Christmas.

Then, I brought up another point that was mentioned a few times in the comments. How come I wasn't an exception? I should be just a little bit important to him, I hope, and therefore he could have bought me something anyway just because I'm his girlfriend and it would have been nice to receive something. He told me he'd never make an exception for anyone because those were his beliefs and anyone who dated him would need to understand and respect that.

We argued for a LONG time, like I'm thinking we spent at least four hours just sitting in his room discussing why he was so against giving me anything. Also, why was he so alright with buying me something for my birthday and Valentine's, but not Christmas? I would understand if it was for religious reasons but he clearly stated it had nothing to do with that. He blamed it on his parents, which makes the next part even MORE INTERESTING.

His mother comes into the room, asking us to come into the living room. I knew they were leaving on the 24th for a small vacation, so I was wondering if this was a small goodbye or maybe even perhaps to scold us for yelling at each other. The house is big but I don't doubt they could have heard a little bit. And then, I was speechless. Sitting on the fucking dining table are his parents and SIX WRAPPED UP GIFTS. I look at him. Like, really? You don't celebrate giving presents on Christmas because your parents are against it, BUT THEY DO? The parents sat us down and gave each of us a gift and told us to open it now and we'd have our own small Christmas just a day before. I opened it, was a lovely gift, thanked them, etc, all while killing my boyfriend mentally. I was a little annoyed.

And then this happens. He starts grinning while I'm glaring, and takes out a gift. For me. I want to cry at this point. What the fuck is actually going on? He hands me the gift, and it's a Swarovski necklace, looking pretty expensive. He smiles, the parents leave to give us some space and I smile back, still REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED. He said it was hard to try and hide this gift while I was yelling at him earlier, but all along he HAD made an exception for me. All of it was a surprise. He doesn't believe in present-giving, but still had bought me one anyway just because he thought I deserved it. So, at this point, he still doesn't believe in giving anyone presents but he did buy me one. I was immediately really happy and hugged him. It's a lovely necklace, and I apologised over and over again for yelling. We have a really nice time and head back to the bedroom and watch tv, cuddling and having a sweet time.

He then asks for his present. I tell him I've opened them already and kept them for myself, so I'm going to need time to buy him a new one. He suddenly becomes furious. I explained he told me he wasn't going to get me something, so OBVIOUSLY I wasn't going to be giving him one if I wasn't supposed to expect anything back. He gets really mad, saying I should have kept the present for him because in the end he did get me something. But how was I supposed to know that?! He begins to scream about how I'm an ungrateful cow, and how he shouldn't have spent a penny on me. His mother comes in, tells him to calm down, and he screams at me to leave the house and he never wants to see me again. I do, and take the necklace (perhaps a bad move :p). I explained I will buy him a new gift, a better one, and still he's too angry at me to understand he only needs to wait a day.

I left and came home, REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED. I tried calling and he hasn't answered. I've been calling since I left the house three hours ago. Guys, I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking confused and today has been one hell of a day. Any advice in appreciated. I'm thinking of going back there tomorrow. I'm sorry if this wasn't written the best way, my head is all over the place. I've also spoken to my best friends and they're also confused as hell. Thanks in advance.

TLDR - I got angry at boyfriend and asked him to explain why he was against giving me anything for Christmas and not my birthday or Valentine's. He explains parents taught him it's wrong to give presents on Xmas. We had a fight. Parents ask us to come into living room, they've all bought us presents. He grins, he's ended up buying me a present, making an exception. I tell him I have no present for him. He gets mad. Not sure if we're still together.