DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original posts by u/PICKLENUTJUICE in r/TrueOffMyChest and r/Sudan

trigger warnings: escaping from bombing in an active warzone, fear of harm and death, violent rape and murder

mood spoilers: stress and horror followed by a hopeful look towards the future

Im scared and Im about to die - April 15, 2023

a civil war just started in sudan right now. I woke up at 9 am to bomb sounds and screams. They told everyone to take shelter and stay home. Everytime i refresh my feed i see more and more people die and im growing mote fearful of whats coming next. There’s tanks that are the size of a whale roaming outside, aircraft and military helicopters shooting in the air. The clouds are all dark red and black. The airport is completely destroyed and so many planes have been highjacked and bombed.

Right now im laying at the floor because i live right behind the airport. ( the war zone is facing my house) they cut off our electricity and the fighting is still going strong and i fear for mine and my parents life. We took our passports and a couple of warm clothes just incase we need to flee.

I fear for my mine and my parents life too. Im scared because theres only 2 choices. Either i stay in sudan and wait for death to come around or become an immigrant and start living an undignified life. This is heartbreaking. The building behind us got hit and its only a matter of time before we get hit too. And it kills me that theres no hope because both sides are rotten and both hemedti and burhan are corrupted. No stores are open and we started to ration our food so that it doesn’t run out. I pray that allah protects us. And if not then allahuma husn alkhatimah. Ashhadu anu la ilah illa allah wa ashadu ana Muhammad rasul allah.

My parents asked me to learn how to clean and bury corpse. - May 19, 2023

Its been over a month now for the civil war that happened in my country sudan. Things have been going downhill ever since and so is my patience and mental health.

Its been 21 days of no electricity and water, and our food in the fridge or whats left of it is all spoiled and rotten. We are running out of cash and i dont know how to run things anymore. The stores all around us are closed and all of our cash got spent on buying water from the milkvan. We cant afford milk because its way too expensive and we need the cash for both my mother and dad’s medicine. The RSF forces are robbing all the nearby houses and its only a matter of time before they reach ours. I cant imagine my mother getting raped or my dad getting shot to death. And there are only 10 hospitals in the country and they only treat the military forces and announce the dead civilians.

I figured we have to flee to the states but i fear we might get killed on the way. And with no income and my dad being 80 and mum being 50 and weak its up to my 19 year old ass to hit the streets and find a job but no one is hiring. Not even a maid or a babysitter. And i never imagined that one day ill go from being a medical student to a panhandler in the streets.

Yesterday its was 2am when a bomb hit the airport and it lit up the whole sky and shook the house and broke all our windows doors kitchen utensils and ornaments. My mother sat down and talked to me about her will and if she dies she wants things to go according to her will and that i should learn how to do ghusul al mayit. As im writing this tears are stinging my eyes and her words keep circling my head and i just want to bury myself and relieve myself from all of this. But my parents have no one but me to support them. And i would do anything for them and I would sacrifice everything for them. Even if it costs my happiness and well-being.

I pray that allah helps us and protects us all, and if not then allahuma husn alkhatimah. Ashhadu nna la ilah ila allah wa ashhadu ana muhammad rasul allah.

Edit 1.i would like to thank everyone for their kind words and attention. It meant so much to me and my family. I appreciate everyones prayers and concerns. I would also like to point out that i am in no mean looking for financial support i just needed to vent and talk about my situation and it certainly made me feel better. I cant and wont accept any money from anyone and i want to thank you again for the lovely gesture.

For those who have asking about my gender i am a cis female.

For those who have been asking about how i got a charged phone and internet, we have solar power charges and a data sim, (Zain) which i use to order meds online, watch the news, talk to friends and relatives and use the flashlight.

Probably gonna be my last post ever. But if i die… - June 14, 2023

Hi everyone. Most of know me as picklenutjuice, and some as 3ajoor… but my real name is Tarteil Omer Yagi. Im a 19 year old female. I have been venting extensively on reddit ever since the civil war in Sudan started. I wanna start off by thanking everyone who gave me their prayers support and love. It meant alot to me and i will never forget how random strangers on the internet stood by me more than my actual “friends”.

So, truth be told, there has been ups and downs but alhamdulilah god has been watching over us and making sure our bellies are stuffed and out bodies wrapped in warm blankets. And I couldn’t be more grateful for what we have right now. It might not be much but everytime i curse this situation im in I remember that there are families who are dealing with even worse issues and i pray everyone makes it through these difficult times.

For the past 2 weeks or so, we have been attacked and held hostages by the RSF. They took our phones and i managed to hide this one inside a box in a refrigerator. Our housekeeper just passed away a few minutes ago from all the beating and raping he had to go through. I saw him getting raped with a glass bottle and it broke inside him and they still kept sodomizing him. We had to wear gloves and dig in inside to remove the glass pieces and perform ghusul almayit on him then wrapped him up for the men to take him away so they can bury him. My his soul Rest In Peace.

The RSF are targeting us because they want our cars. They blithely destroyed and robbed all of the cars outside (the ones that they need is the toyota tacoma and the landcruiser and other small cars are just milked out of fuel) and they managed to get inside and found so many big cars for them to take away. Now my car is parked right behind them and they took out the wires and started the car but it wont move because its an automatic geared car and it needs the car keys. And we denied that we even know who this car belongs to.

I finally managed to convince my mother 50F and my dad 80M that sooner or later we are gonna get killed if we just wait for them to run their business and that we should take a run for it because we are now fugitives in their eyes. We are planning on going to bahri which is a nearby city and its not safe but at least we arent wanted there.

But the road to bahri is extremely dangerous. I dont know whats about to happen to me or my family but for what its worth i thought id just save my last words here.

I wanna thank my mother who fed and raised me and nursed me when i was at my lowest and cared for me when no one else did. And to my dad i want to thank him for helping me perusing my dreams of becoming a doctor and protecting me at all costs and raising me to be the woman i an today. And to my bestfriend moayad, you have been the most loyal friend i could ask for. You stood beside me and even though ur the most annoying human being on earth, i love you. I really do.

My fellow readers I dont want your empathy or pity, i want you to pray for me to be able to get through this so that i can see the light of the sun with you. And if i dont make it then I want you to remember that i stood my ground and stayed strong because of you.

I pray that allah protects me and my family and if not then allahuma husn alkhatimah. Ashhadu anna la ila ila allah wa ashhadu ana Muhammad rasul allah.

((وبشر الصابرين الذين إذا أصابتهم مصيبة قالوا إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون أولئك عليهم صلوات من ربهم ورحمة وأولئك هم المهتدون))

Signing out.

🥰 Link - June 19, 2023

Link to an instagram video of a person, presumably OOP, filming from the backseat of a car passing over a bridge spanning a river (confirmed in the comments to be the Nile river). The caption on the video reads "Happy to say that im alive well and officially out of Khartoum."

Joyful comments on the video

Comment 1

Girl I am crying watching this video. This is the best news!! We have all been so worried about you and your family!

Comment 2

الحمد لله على السلامة I have never meant every word of that sentence so completely as I do today.

Comment 3

I'm so happy for you! I hope you all get to where you are going safely. You're in our hearts and minds.

Comment on an unrelated post, 5 months later - November 16, 2023

Good to see you picklenut juice. How have you all settled since your escape?

OOP's reply:

Thankyou so much, me and my family are doing okay alhamdulilah.

Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.