I am not the Original Poster. Originally posted in 2017 & 2019 by u/andromeda-rising.

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My [F26] sister [F23] keeps posting personal details of our relationship on her public blog/twitter. She doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t like this, and I am at my wits end. (4 Jun 2017)

Whenever I do something that upsets my sister, her first reaction is to post it on her personal albeit public blog and her twitter. She doesn’t come and talk to me about the issue, or how we can work through it, and instead publicly posts about the issue, often using negative language and insulting me. This is an on-going issue that has been occurring for many years. I have asked her numerous times to please stop posting about me on her blog/twitter, and that if she has an issue with something I am doing with her, to please come talk to me first, but her reaction is always the same: she claims that “nobody cares” that she vents about her family online, and that it’s her “personal blog/twitter” and because of that she can do whatever she wants on it.

I’ve tried explaining to her that this is disrespectful to me, and that while yes, it is her personal blog/twitter, she is posting about me in a public sphere on the internet, and therefore it is no longer “personal”. It is upsetting to me because I feel like I can no longer have a relationship with her, because I live in the constant fear that if I do so little as breathe wrong, my actions will be blogged/tweeted about without so little as her coming to me first to discuss the issue. In the past, she used to tweet/blog about me and my ex-boyfriend, and how she hated him, and would tweet about us having sex (me and my sister used to live together). I don’t live with her anymore, thankfully, but when I go to visit my mother (where she lives), there’s always the chance that I’ll do something and she’ll react by blogging/tweeting about it.

More recently, she posted about how I ruined her day and was insensitive for posting a photo of our father on the anniversary of his death and sharing a few positive memories I had of him on FB. She claimed I didn’t think of anyone but myself when posting that photo (I felt bad that this upset her, but he was my dad too, and I wanted to hear some positive memories about my father from his friends). When I tried to talk to her about the issue, she stopped responding to me and proceeded to tweet/blog about how she “doesn't have time” for my “whiney bullshit” and that I needed to stop be so sensitive.

I am at a loss of what to do here. Is there anyway I can get her to stop posting about me online? Or am I overreacting?

tl;dr: My sister keeps posting personal details of our relationship on her public blog/twitter whenever I do something that upsets her and refuses to discuss the issues she has with me before hand. What can I do in this situation?

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[UPDATE] My [F26] sister [F23] keeps posting personal details of our relationship on her public blog/twitter. She doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t like this, and I am at my wits end. (14 April 2019)

Figured I'd give an update to this situation as it's almost been 2 years since the original post. Link below:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/6f7yz5/my_f26_sister_f23_keeps_posting_personal_details/

After reading through everyone's responses and taking time for myself to see how I really felt about the whole situation, I did as I said I was going to do, and blocked my sister on all forms of social media. I also cut her out of my life (albeit, temporarily). For about 8 months, I didn't speak to her, nor make any attempts at communicating with her. That summer (so about 2 months after I had stopped contact with her), my sister moved away for school. My mother eventually got wind of the situation from my brother (who was 24 at the time and has never been particularly close with our younger sister) and asked me why I wasn't talking to my sister.

Initially she was judgmental, but after explaining to her my sisters repeated behavior of posting personal details about me online (including my phone number and details about my sex life), my mother was furious and agreed that I had every right to cut her out of my life. At one point, my mother, during a phone conversation with my sister, called her out, calling my sister childish, petty, and vindictive and said that if she ever found out that she was posting any intimate details about ANY family members online like that again, she wouldn't hesitate to find a lawyer. She also threatened to kick my sister out of the house if she didn't stop her nonsense (while she was away at school, she did live at my mom's house during summer breaks/holidays). I'm not sure if there was any actual legal repercussions my mom could have actually made against her, but it was enough to make my sister set her blog/twitter to private after my mom browbeat her into submission for being so shitty. Due to this, my sister and my mom had a huge falling out as well, with my sister repeating the same old adage of how it was her "personal" blog/twitter so she could do whatever she wanted with it/on it.

Christmas rolled around and me and sister still weren't talking, and while my mom had patched things up with her to a degree, it was an awkward holiday. Me and my brother both live independently. When we went over to visit for holiday stuff, were civil and polite towards our sister, but we never failed to notice her on her phone 24/7. We could only speculate what she was doing, but I was less bothered now that she had set her blogs to private. Regardless, during a dinner at one point, she was on her phone and my mom asked her to put her phone down so we could have "family" time. She responded along the lines of "yeah, one minute", and my brother made a jab about how she was probably too busy posting "bullshit lies" about us on the internet. I should mention that while my sister doesn't seem to care what I think/ask of her, she has always seemed to respond and care about what my brother thinks. She tried to fight him on his comment for a minute, but he shut her down, calling her "a fucking child" who just wants "internet points" and straight up said that if she was " a decent fucking human being" she would talk to us about her problems instead of cowering behind a screen. She shut up after that and retreated to her room after dinner was done.

After Christmas, I continued to have zero contact with her. I would hear about how she was doing in school via our mom from time to time, but still had her blocked on all social media. She came home for the summer to work, and that summer our Grandma (my deceased father's mother ) died. My sister ended up having a complete breakdown due to the culminating and unworked through grief surrounding our father (who had died 2 years previous) and now our Grandma. She started going to therapy and actually taking her medication.

Eventually, she reached out and apologized to me about her behavior the past few years. We had a sit down that fall, over some beers and talked about everything that had happened and her behavior. I told her while I accepted her apology, it would take some time for me to work through her how behavior had affected me and our relationship. I unblocked her on FB so we could make a group chat with our brother as a buffer. We now occasionally talk, but we still aren't as close as we used to be when we were younger. I actually went to lunch with her the last time she was in town and it felt...okay. So that's it, here we are.

TL;DR:

Blocked my sister on all forms of social media and cut contact, only participating in it during holiday events/funerals. Brother and mother supported my decision and made it clear to her they didn't stand for her behavior. Sister ended up going to therapy and actually taking her medication and later apologized. We occasionally talk now, but we aren't close anymore.

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Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. Originally posted in 2017 & 2019 by u/andromeda-rising.