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I can’t stop thinking about what I want my life to look like.. Whenever I think about my goals, they revolve around how much I can submit to a man. How pretty I can be for him, how well I can clean his home and cook for him, how I can have his children and raise them for him. But also, how I can debase myself for him, cry for him, bleed for him. I think they only way I’d find peace, be truly and utterly happy, is if I could give everything I thought I used to know up. Go completely primal and back to my base instincts. I don’t want romance. Having a man I could treat as a religion, to worship, it would mean everything to me. Whenever I see girls treated badly by their husbands, I feel a warmth in my body. I want it. I’m a masochist. I love pain. I think maybe, this is what I’m meant for. All those girls stuck in toxic, awful relationships. It’s so sad. It should be me instead, someone who consents. I can handle it, the extreme, I want it.
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- 7 months ago
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