Hello, spoilers for the first 2 seasons, and the first few episodes of season 3 I think.

Someone recommended this show to me, and I've been watching it, and it's just really bumming me out. Initially I found it kinda fun and quirky, but pretty dark, though I felt there was a certain positivity, in that Barry wanted to change. Of course things got darker (as is predictable with any antihero tv show), but I guess I still wanted some sort of catharsis for Barry, or otherwise something meaningful to happen in the show as a whole.

But as it goes on, it just gets darker, in a very real way. It feels too real. I'd initially related to Barry not having much direction, and being a sort of passive person guided by other people, instead of doing what's right for him. Maybe I project myself too much into tv characters lol, but a lot of this show just hit very hard for me. Sally's abuse stuff with her ex-husband, and I guess generally the idea of being open about yourself, rather than denying the truth, playing a part you're expected to play. Can people really change? There's also a lot about chasing meaning or purpose, seeking guidance but getting only guidance from other messed-up people. It just feels like too much, and I find the show very draining. It feels like a show designed specifically for me, to make me as depressed as possible.

I mean I am ok, don't wanna get a "Reddit cares about you" message or whatever. Just, this show is kinda breaking my heart, it seems like the comedy basically disappears after season 1. And it's all too real. Like Barry yelling at Sally in the first episode of s3, idk, it just broke my heart. I've dealt with people who get kinda crazy like that, in my family, and it just really effects me, and then it's like the guy I've stupidly projected myself onto, who I thought would never do that, has become some monster, and am I like this too? Obviously I'm not an assassin, but am I a bad person, or can I really change my life? But I just wanted him to have something sort of positive happen, and him doing that just, idk, it's like the worst thing ever somehow, like more than all the other stuff, and it's like what I would be most afraid of becoming, and hurting someone I care about that way. And I also tend to self-sabotage and be a mess of a person.

Idk I feel like it is messing me up emotionally, and makes me have a mini existential crisis after I watch it. Idk what it is, as I've seen all these antihero shows, but for whatever reason this one is really fucking me up. I'm really considering just stopping watching it, but it feels ridiculous that it's bumming me out so much, and I wanna know what happens. I'm also watching it with my family (parents), and I don't wanna just ditch them. Anyway, apologies for rambling and craziness in this post, I will probably just delete it later, I just wanna know: Is the show worth watching until the end? Does it feel meaningful somehow, even if the ending is obviously gonna be sad? And is there any purpose to all the depressing bullshit? It seems like nobody on the show really cares about eachother, or fully wants to understand and care for other people in a meaningful way. The show just feels like a thousand little tragedies stacked on top of eachother. Does it get better? Or am I just feeling depressed and reading that into the show?

Edit: Alright, I'll keep giving it a chance. I really enjoyed Dark, which has some pretty dark/depressing elements, but is still a satisfying ending, so hopefully this show is the same! Thanks for comments people. And I may take a break or just focus less on the show lol when watching it, but I do wanna see what happens.