Today I caught my son watching PewDiePie.

As always, I was peacefully mowing the lawn when I went upstairs to ask my son to help me. When I opened the door, for my suprise, what I saw in his computer screen was appalling and heartbreaking. It was a fricking PewDiePie video.

The damn Swede was shouting at his microphone or whatever telling something about a "water sheep". Water sheep, really? It reminded me of the Bible's golden calf, which the Israelite worshiped in behalf of God!

You know, I'm a peaceful man. But I couldn't let my own children be corrupted by PewDiePie's trickery. Fathers have a thing called instinct. When the paternal instinct speaks louder, nobody can stop it. The alpha must protect the pack at all costs.

With my hammer in hand, I pulled the little brat from the chair and slammed the screen as hard as I could. He started screeching and screaming in despair but I didn't give attention to it. I couldn't let it be consumed by the dark magic. I kept slamming that screen until it was a pile of glass and plastic and started doing the same with his computer. He was yelling me to stop, but again, I didn't give a shit.

I burned the computer's remains and poured salt over over them before burying it in some abandoned park. When I arrived home, I locked the little shit in the basement, covering him in salt and vinegar to make all the devil inside him go away. He's been there for a few hours. I told him that he would be released only when he read the entire Bible.

Sometimes, it is very hard to a father to do this to their beloved ones, but we must resist the pain and educate them.

Please, keep your children away from this evil.