Hi there, thanks for stopping by.

Bottom line up front: I'm a hetero guy in an open marriage. For the right person, I offer a fun friends-with-benefits connection.

I am not seeking a unicorn. My spouse will not be involved.

To me, a friends-with-benefits means having someone to talk to, hang out with (brunches, museums, movies, I will spank you at minigolf, travel if we really get along), and occasionally have mutually enjoyable sex/cuddling/making out. All of this without the expectation/pressure of “settling down”.

I am not looking to control your life, or be your One-And-Only. In my mind, I would be a good fit for someone who is not looking for a regular romantic heterosexual relationship. Maybe you’re a busy professional, busy grad student, or just someone who is generally aromantic? Are you curious about power exchange as well? Let’s talk!

Physically, I am 5' 7", relatively fit (i.e. no six pack but no beer belly either), and a bright smile. I have dark skin because I am in the African diaspora. So if you're a height supremacist or a white supremacist, you're going to have a bad time 😉

As the previous paragraph (and my username) suggests - I have a snarky, surreal, and cleverly absurd sense of humor. This comes from a deep love I have for play. Play comes in multiple forms for me, but most often happens in regular conversation. So if you are looking for someone who enjoys wide-ranging conversations about art, science, politics, or you want to share some hot goss from TikTok, I’m your man.

Personality-wise, I would describe myself as a grown-up third-culture kid. I lived on two continents and developed a functional knowledge of five different languages. Only about three remain now. I’ve had to adapt to different cultures while often sticking out. If you know what that’s like, or are curious about it, I’d love to connect.

If I had to describe my politics, I would call them left-of-center. If I had to go deeper, I would describe my views this way:

The nuts and bolts of living together means communication, means dispute, means arguing, essentially, but arguing in such a way where the results are not catastrophic. Conflict is a feature of life. So if you accept that conflict is going to be a ubiquitous feature of life, you say to yourself, “Okay, well, how do I deal with conflict so that it’s actually creative rather than catastrophic?” We want to be ambitious with it. We want to know how to live in a world where our conflicts, our differences, our collisions, can be very creative.

Lately I’ve been reading bell hooks (On Love) and the late David Graeber. I am nurturing the little anarchist within who resists authority based on coercion. I am hoping to work out, at least in my own life, how to center mutual consent, mutual benefit, and mutual care. If this appeals to you, I hope you reach out.

In sum: I connect deeply with curious, creative, and communicative individuals. If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading, and I wish you the best on your journey!