The election season is finally over — somehow, we survived (maybe?). After months of doomscrolling, debates, and anxiety spiraling into the abyss, the dust has settled, and…well, the view is grim. But if the future feels like a slow-motion car crash, why not let the present be a little more thrilling? The air is crisp, the leaves are falling, and if the world’s about to go up in flames, there’s no better time to unravel — under me.

Why Should You Message Me?

Because you’re over it. Over the nonsense, the stress, and the unending parade of people who think “good vibes only” means ignoring boundaries and red flags. You want someone who actually gets it: grounded, fun, kink-friendly, and politically aligned enough to not make your soul itch. Bonus points if you read through my profile and thought, “Wait…he’s this funny and well-endowed? Jackpot.”

TV Personality Breakdown: What You’re Getting

For the Gen X’ers: I’m your CJ Cregg — tall, witty, and capable of taking over a room. Sure, I’ve been called Big Bird more than once, but I’ll leave you shaking in ways that Sesame Street never could.

For the Millennials: Imagine Ron Swanson’s rugged charm but taller, with Chris Traeger’s genuine enthusiasm. Respectful, warm, and always down to meet you halfway — I’ll be just as excited to see your messages as you are to send them.

For the Boomers: Think Grizzly Adams, if he cleaned up well and knew how to ruin you in the best possible way. 😏

What Do I Look Like?

I’m strong, well-built, and always keep myself together. Grooming? Always on point — you’ll never catch me slacking. As for what I bring to the bedroom? I’m a skilled and deeply attentive pleasure top who lives to praise and ravish my partners. If you want proof, I’m happy to send receipts — because why should only the rich get transparency?