I see a lot of posts on this sub touting the writer's girth, or height, or hair color. Posts with kink lists a mile long. Posts that describe sexual fantasies in florid detail.

But after reading each post closely, I rarely come away with any sense of the writer's sexual skill.

Because being good at sex has nothing to do with your genitalia--or lack thereof. Sex is a social skill, a mental skill.

'Good at sex' means you're good at reading people.

At reading their nonverbal cues, the subtext of their words, anticipating their wants needs, building and/or blocking desire within them.

Good at listening, even to the thoughts that aren't sexual.

And as sex-obsessed as our society is, we do a terrible job of fostering these skills. They are foundational, and no amount of handcuffs or lingerie will ever be able to substitute. It's like we've blown over the basics entirely.

These skills are honed through patience, focus, consistency and repetition. Like any skill worth learning, there are no shortcuts or cheat codes.

. . .

The next step:

If you have these skills--or if you're interested in building them--then reply to me with:

•A sfw photo. Does not have to include your face (but a clear face shot will vault you to the front of the line). The picture should clearly depict your body type.

•What you're looking for in a partner.

•Kinks--feel free to be explicit. I won't consider it forward. Best to make sure we're on the same page sexually.

•Where you can host, and if that location has pets.

•The last romantic thing you did

Low effort replies of only a few words will not be responded to.

Preferably you are:

•Slim. I am lean & prefer the same in my partner. Average physiques are ok, but I am not attracted to excessive body fat.

•Under 6'0". I'm quite small & I find that the greater the height disparity, the more difficult sex becomes.

•Between the ages of 25 - 45.

You must be able to host regularly in D.C. or its inner suburbs. Baltimore, Frederick & Dulles are all too far for me. The southern side of the beltway (Alexandria, Nat'l Harbor) is also problematic due to traffic.

I am generally available early afternoon on weekdays, or early morning on weekends. Though the closer you are to NW, the more flexible I can be.

. . .

Physically I am: asian, tan, small & slim, conventionally attractive & feminine presenting with long straight dark hair.

Sexually I am: lingerie aficionado, domme-leaning (not submissive in the slightest). I own quite a few whips & locks but I'm more interested in less explicitly kinky activities like erotic massage & partner stretching.

I firmly believe that good sex is as much a meeting of the minds as it is a meeting of the flesh.

I know this is a much longer post than this sub usually sees, so props if you've stuck with it all the way to the end ;)