Hello there, my fellow vertebrates!

Are you a witty, snarky, and submissive-leaning woman looking for an intriguing connection? If adding an AMAB person (i.e., "boner donor") to your world excites you, let's connect! I'm a straight, snarky Black man, and though I'm ENM, our interaction will be just between us.

By day, I'm a child-free DC professional. No one clocks me as kinky. I work out for the love of pizza, enjoy clever puns and dumb jokes. I stand at 5'7" (~172 cm) for any height supremacists that care. I love to travel, read, and have an artsy side. I'm not much of a gamer. My peripatetic childhood fostered a love of languages, learning, and wit; it included skipping a grade and becoming mostly trilingual.

Why choose me?

• Your pleasure is my priority.
• I value honest communication and am curious about your desires.
• I am vasectomied and committed to safe sex with recent STI tests.
• Therapy and psychonautics have helped me grow.
• Dogs and other animals seem to like my chill vibe.
• I genuinely enjoy learning about your passions and interests.

I've always had a playful and irreverent side. Like, why is there a car pope in Pixar's Cars? Ever wonder if Jesus could have miraculed up a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos? Or was he constrained by the ingredients of his era?

If you're looking for a kind-of-goofy-but-also-really-smart guy who's curious to know more about you, let’s connect. If our banter sparkles, we can meet for a beverage. I have never sent a dick pic. I will not begin today.

Non-negotiables:

• No tobacco use; 420 is fine.
• Emotional availability (if you're still dealing with a recent breakup/divorce I'm not for you, sorry).
• Proximity within 35-45 minutes of the beltway.
• No conservative or heteronormative values.
• Great dental hygiene.
• I have cats (beware if allergic).

Curiosity piqued? Tell me about yourself and what caught your interest. Let’s see if we click!