If you want a shot at being our third, please actually read the ad. I’m particular and patient enough to find the right fit.

If — after reading the ad — you’d like to reach out, drop me a line actually telling me about yourself. I won’t reply to low effort replies. Including an (anonymous) photo is helpful. That doesn’t mean a picture of your dick.

Although I’ve been with a handful of couples, I’ve never had the opportunity to be with two men. Fortunately, I have a very accommodating fwb who’s offered to help me check a mfm off my bucket list. I selfishly want to be the center of attention (it’s my fantasy after all), so there’s no expectation of any physicality between the guys.

I’m looking for someone sane, normal, patient, and respectful. It wouldn’t hurt if you were funny, charming, and smart. I am a big fan of tallish, dark haired guys with dad bods and beards. Brownie points for above average endowment, the ability to go multiple rounds, and not being completely vanilla. Extra brownie points if you’re open to anonymous video being taken for personal use only (pretty please with a cherry on top).

You must be 30 . Seriously, don’t shoot your shot if you’re in your 20s. Men my age are encouraged to reply.

I don’t care about your relationship status. I do care that you are ddf with recent test results, use condoms correctly and consistently, and respect boundaries and limits. I don’t care if you 420, but I don’t like being with someone who’s high. It’s just not my thing.

We’ll host at a nice hotel somewhere between northern PG county and Arlington-ish — wherever works best for all 3 of us. I am not schlepping to Baltimore/Towson or Woodbridge/Leesburg. Please have weekday daytime availability and the ability to spend a few hours enjoying yourself. I don’t like to rush and I’m serious about enjoying as many rounds as I can.

As for me, I’m ~305 lbs and 5’7”. I’m about a size 22/24. I’m mostly belly and ass (it’s a great ass). I carry myself well, am well dressed, and feminine. Long hair, librarian glasses, generally considered cute by chubby chasers. I am 110% comfortable in my skin. I have no hang ups about my body. You shouldn’t have any hang ups about my body either.

I’ve got a great personality; I’m smart, funny, and charming. I’m gainfully employed, sane, and normal. I’m an enthusiastic and appreciative partner. I have test results from early June and always practice safer sex.

We have a date penciled in for this Thursday afternoon. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find someone to join us!