Attn: Ladies of D.C., Md., and Va.!

Stressed out? Down in the dumps? Didn't get the promotion you were counting on? Best friend bought the same cute pumps you had your eyes on? Co-worker stealing your best ideas and passing them off as his own? All alone on a weekend night? Boyfriend not as, ah, attentive as he could be, ah, down there? Bills piling up? Tired of enduring blah, blah, blah small-talk on the dating scene just to get ghosted? Feeling overlooked and undervalued? Then have I got just the thing for you!

My advanced pussy eating technique will put the spring back in your step, boost energy, enhance self-esteem, and correct bad posture! Put my mouth to work between your thighs and experience what a stream of blinding orgasms radiating from your womanhood to the tips of your fingers and toes can do for a girl! See immediate results! Certain to unwind, relax, and calm. Side effects may include heart palpitations, curling up into a ball, and laughing uncontrollably. May also include unbridled confidence and the new-found inner power to conquer the world (or at least get through the workday)!

Ladies, ask yourselves, are you:

• Female?

• 18 years old?

• Human?

• Disease-free?

• Reasonably height-weight proportionate?

• Not related to me by blood or marriage?

If so, then I will eat your pussy GUAR-AN-TEED!

So what are you waiting for? Don't miss out on this limited time offer! You know your girlfriends are doing it, and why should they have all the fun? Don't wait -- print your particulars on a blank post card and mail to Prof. A.J. Dimple & Co., Purveyor of Patented Tinctures, Balms, Salves, and Home Remedies, c/o Postmaster, Frederick, Md., or save yourself the postage and just . . .

👉 DM ME! 👈

~~All serious inquiries assured of a response!~~

💥 Accept no substitutes! 💥

Fine Print: All kidding aside, I am quite real and so is the offer! I absolutely love performing on a woman, and you can see here. While I want both you and I to have a great time, I do take all of this seriously. In real life, I am completely normal, safe, sane, responsible, stable, and respectful. All limits respected. And if we do agree to move forward, we'll meet in a safe, public place first and not move anywhere private until we're both comfortable with it. Can't be too careful on this Internet!

About me: I am tall (6'2") and lean (180 lbs), with full head of dark hair and brown eyes. I can't be sure any particular woman will fancy me, but certainly many have at one time or another. Try it, you'll love it!

ItsAnObsession