When I (36m) first started dancing bachata about 6 months ago, the feedback I got over and over again was that I was too forceful and stiff. I ranked up to Intermediate-- super relative I know, but also I did it in Medellin, Colombia which is predominantly more bachata sensual and IMO a higher skill cap compared to my home town of Chicago. Shoutout to my teachers!

So, just for fun, I did some of the basic classes but this time as a follow. My female dance partner follower also swapped and did classes as a lead. The basic and intermediate classes were back-to-back, one hour each, so we did the basic as reversed-roles and intermediate as our normal roles.

WOW! What a world of difference. We both learned how to read each other better, she learned to give more pressure and I learned how to be more relaxed. Bonus-- we are now both more dance flexible with other dancers at socials. Am I bi-dance-exual now? (EDIT: "Switch" is more appropriate!")

Anyways, that's all to say, if this resonates with you, try a role switch!

EDIT: Now, one of my favorite things to do is to switch roles mid-song when I'm dancing with a dude. He gets the intro, first verse, coro, second verse; I get the coro, bridge, coro, and outro. I also have a man bun and when I turn into follow, I let my hair down so I can whip it around. Lastly, any follows who dance with me, best believe I'm gonna onda, reverse onda, cambrie, and double/triple spin and dip you.