TW: childhood illness

guys, I know noone here is a doctor, or anything but I just need to vent. My anxiety is so high, I'm so worried about my baby and also my anatomy scan next week.

Some background to this: my first born was born with a rare liver disease. It was nothing I did during pregnancy to cause it, and it wasn't genetic. Just a stroke of really bad luck. Like one in every 18,000 live births. It was so hard. She failed to thrive and they couldn't figure it out until she was 6 weeks old, because it doesn't show up until then. They just don't gain much weight. After that she had a procedure to try to push back what would ultimately need to happen, a liver transplant. And it helped a little but she was in and out of the hospital her first year of life, then in a medical coma until 1 1/2 when she by the grace of God received her new liver. (Rest in peace Simon ❤️ her donor) She is 7 and doing fantastic now. Her odd of survival and recovery were so low at that point she was days out from plug pulling, and she beat the odds and then some.

However, my point is I'm so traumatized from that still. I know I want one more but I am sooo worried there will be something wrong with this baby too.

What are the odds do you think of having two sick children? I'd do anything for my kids but I don't think I could go through something like that again I am not strong enough.