Things I’d rather do then have another kidney stone: literally anything.

Below is a long story of my weekend of hell. Highlights: two hospitalizations, a probable diagnosis of kidney stones and a UTI, pain that is truly indescribable, and a very bouncy fetus.

Sorry for the long story ahead....

On Friday afternoon, I started feeling a bit gassy. By 3am, I was having sort of patterned cramps that I was blaming on gas that would wake me up. In a moment of mid-night clarity, I started to wonder if this was contractions. I was 23 4 so that not good. I drove myself to the hospital where I was whisked off to L&D. First ah ha, it’s hard as hell to monitor a tiny little human. Every time they could get a read on him, he’s move. The nurse quickly ruled out gallstones (I have no gallbladder) and picked up some steady contractions. My urine wasn’t clean so the dr assumed UTI. All was going perfectly well until two contractions caused little dude to dramatically destat. There is nothing quite as scary as a whole L&D team running in in full sprint. Eventually the contractions leveled off and I was sent home mid day on Saturday with instructions to rest and hydrate.

I got home and tried to nap but had two absolutely crippling contractions that had me crying my eyes out. After the third, decided to go back to the hospital. I ended up taking a Lyft which was easily the strangest part of my day. Hard to make small talk when one is terrified they are in pre-term Labor.

I was admitted, hooked up to an IV, and as in some act of comedic timing, another wave hit. This time brought vomiting in addition to crying and having a hard time breathing. I’m just going to note there are literally no amount of drugs that can take that pain away. The hospital tried, they didn’t do a damn thing. I was testing for kidney stones, ovarian torsion, pre-term Labor, appendicitis, etc. everything was normal. The pain lasted through the night and it was truly the worst. I’ll take Labor again in a heart beat- that being said, I’ll take Labor plus an epidural again, in a heart beat. Come Sunday, the pain had gotten better. Then, it came right on back. This time the hospital gave me a ton of muscle relaxers and anti anxiety meds on top of pain meds. And then sent me home with the diagnosis of kidney stones and muscle pain. I guess you can have kidney stones that don’t show up on ultrasound while pregnant. Who knew?

I made it home yesterday at 2pm and have basically slept since. Turns out I didn’t really sleep for two days between the uti and the kidney stones and my body needed rest more then anything.

Through this ordeal, the only highlight was watching nurses try to monitor this little bouncing bean of mine. He was not so interested in staying in place. as soon as the monitors were on him, he’s kick back and move. And he liked to poke his head wherever the ultrasound was. Vaginal ultrasound, head first saying hi! Bladder ultrasound, there’s a little face! Kidney ultrasound, he made an appearance on both sides. He’s a funny little human, can’t wait to see what parts of this translate to his personality.

The long and short- go to the hospital if you sense something is wrong. Also, avoid kidney stones. Those fucking suck.