I'm 7 and a bit weeks pregnant with our second baby - amazing news, couldn't be happier. But today is really frikkin tough; I started the pregnancy with almost no symptoms other than an occasional cramp and some insomnia, but for the last 24 hours I've had a horrible dull ache in my belly that's freaking me out. No bleeds, so I'm taking that as a good sign. But the pain is not nice. We have an early scan tomorrow and it can't come quickly enough. I am terrified that something will go wrong.

My baby girl (15 mo) is having heart surgery on Tuesday and I'm starting to wobble over that too. When we got confirmation that she'd need the procedure we put our baby making on hold, little did we know bean had already been created!

I feel so scared and so vulnerable, I can't have something go wrong, not with this bean or with my little girl. And I can't talk about it to anyone because I'm not ready for everyone to know I'm pregnant yet. I just needed somewhere to let it all out :(