I'm 9 months and this is my first and possibly only baby.

I've been feeling what I can only describe as existential dread abouty pregnancy coming to and end as I reflect upon how I've spend the last 9 months. I feel like I've spent the whole time trying to avoid life as much as possible. Everything has just felt like it was way too much effort so instead I stayed home all the time (except for work) and doom scrolled or read or watched TV. I avoided social interactions when possible. When I had to be social I was constantly focused on when I could leave. and it's not like I even looked forward to coming home to doom scroll and stare in the open fridge, I just knew I didn't really want to be wherever else it is that I was.

I feel like I robbed my mom of the opportunity to enjoy my pregnancy. Rationally I know that's not really my obligation but I just know this will likely be her only grandchild and she has so little to look forward to, plus she's been the literal best. She's respected my boundaries and has done SO much for me and I hate that I've felt so annoyed and aloof the whole time.

I haven't even had an especially "hard" pregnancy. I'm healthy, baby is healthy, home life is stable, I have great support. Mental health has been incredibly hard, though. Just struggling with feelings of regret.

Idk, I'm in therapy but it feels pretty inadequate. I guess I'm just looking for similar experiences?