anyone else end a relationship and feel like they completely lost themself?

over 6 months post break up and I'm deeply depressed and anxious-bordering on psychosis. tearful and so mean to myself daily. I'm disconnected from everything i thought made me, me. Trying to date and make friends again and i just feel lost and confused. i compulsively isolate on bad weeks, which of course makes it worse. just functioning is a struggle. i have walking panic attacks where I'm quietly spiralling for hours at work. Things have never been this hard, even when i had just escaped a childhood of abuse.

i think about this ex daily and am trying so hard to stop obsessing and time-traveling. this person was my best friend for years and the only constant in my adult life. doing weekly therapy/dbt homework religiously and on so much meds and i still feel like I'm drowning.

anyone else going through this or went through it? I feel so alone right now and could use the validation and support.