My ex with bpd wrote me out of the blue after five months of no contact. She lashed out and insulted me, my friends (especially my female friends, who she has particular ire for, calling them “skanks” and “sluts”), my family, and my sexual prowess (after claiming I was the “best ever” when we were together).

There was only about 5 minutes of kindness and she got me to apologize for something that I legitimately felt bad about at the start of our relationship, and then it was back to distortions, abuse, lies and manipulation.

Has anyone else experienced Hoovers that are mostly just random abuse? At one point she admitted she had a shitty week and was just lashing out because of that, but then tried to claimed it was “reactive abuse” which actually happens when someone is abusing you in the moment, not 5-8 months after the fact.