It’s been almost a month since no contact was started between myself and person with bpd. I’m still finding myself dwelling on them daily, can’t even sleep right cause I even dream about them.

I find myself getting angry that they’re happy with someone else and not hurting or missing me. While I’m “alone” struggling, hurting and missing them. But then I also can’t bring myself to stay angry or hate them either.

I also find myself waiting for things to go wrong for them one day and end up reaching out because of that. The idea gives me satisfaction but also I don’t want to feel like I’m just in their back pocket for when they need me.

I guess this is more of a vent but if anyone has been in similar situations feel free to let me know how you coped with it all. I try my best to keep busy with things I enjoy daily and will be starting therapy as well.