For example: We once had I fight that she(exwBPD) thought I didn't visit her family enough. I had good reasons for that because it was an incredibly toxic environment, but I agreed if it was important to her I would visit more. So from then on I always asked her every time she went to her family if she'd like me to join. Not once did she say yes, not once. I was never invited either. So nothing changed, and we had more and more fights about this. But I couldn't convince her that if she said I shouldn't join or wasn't invited I didn't feel the need to go. I was supposed to invite myself apparently.

Other one is after she discarded me, when we were moving stuff. She blew up on me for abandoning her even though she broke up with me. Forcing her to move back in with her parents even though the appartment was in my name.

Then I even found a new appartment I might be able to move into, it was random selection, so she could have our old one. She removed herself from our adress for the government and that meant I wouldn't be able to give our old appartment to her if I got the new one. (Complicated situation with student housing) Then blew up and playing the victim that her dad was mentally abusing her and she had nowhere to go.

I realized after the discard how many issues she had, no idea why I didn't see that during the relationship.

Disclaimer: I know NC is best but we have a dog together so we have to switch him between us because neither of us has the time to take care of him by ourselves. Having the least amount of contact possible atm.