(I am poly, and the pwBPD that I usually talk about here is my ex-metamour M. "Metamour" is the word for my partner's other partner. My metamour & my partner were together for about a year before he met me. Then he and I dated for a year, then we all moved in together and lived together for a year before my partner broke up with my metamour, because of her abusive behavior)

I love ice cream. I always have a minimum of 10 flavors in the freezer, and often 20 . I love ice cream so much that since tiny NYC apartments usually have tiny fridges with tiny freezers, I bought a small chest freezer. So I use the fridge freezer as the ice cream freezer and the chest freezer as the "everything else" freezer.

I've lived with roommates nearly all my adult life (close to 20 years) and I've never had a problem with my ice cream disappearing. My roommates have all loved my ice cream habit, because I'm generous and the ice cream is for anybody who wants some. I just ask that if someone polishes off a pint they replace it with a similar flavor.

Again, to reiterate - 15 years of living with roommates before my uBPD metamour moved in, never had a problem with my ice cream disappearing.

(I'm sure you know where this is going)

About 2 months after my metamour M moved in, nearly all my ice cream was gone. I actually stopped collecting ice cream for most of the time we lived together, because she'd eat it all, almost never replace it, and of course bringing up things like that she needed to replace it was a LANDMINE. I brought it up (very nicely) a few times, and each time, I heard through Harry, our partner, how she was so upset and convinced I hated her because I asked her to replace the ice cream. It just wasn't worth it to try to maintain this thing I loved, pissing away money on ice cream that I didn't get to eat, because she'd hoover it all down as soon as I bought more. And while I contemplated telling her that she wasn't allowed to eat my ice cream anymore I (probably rightly) assumed that the shitstorm that would create would be incredibly miserable, and that she'd probably ignore what I asked and eat my ice cream regardless of me saying she was no longer welcome to do so.

Anyways, the thing I feel like I don't have a name for is that...ok, like I said, the fridge freezer was the ice cream freezer. It's pretty freaking obvious when a freezer that mostly holds ice cream goes from 20 flavors to 2-3. The entire time that the amount of ice cream was going down, M never seemed to notice/grasp that she was eating all the ice cream, even though I'd think that would both be screamingly obvious visually, and also as she was looking at the remaining flavors, I'd think that going from have 20 choices to just a few would be kinda obvious.

But if she ever noticed that, she sure as shit didn't say anything.

Does anybody have a similar story/situation? Where something really obviously changed in this kind of way, but the pwBPD seemed completely unaware? Is there a word for this?

I guess it's possible that she assumed that all three of us combined were eating that much, but based off the number of times when I'd hear her say "oh man, I just polished off another carton of ice cream", I'd think if she had any self awareness, she'd have realized that she was the person eating the vast majority of the ice cream.

In the end, now that she's been gone a year, I'm back to collecting my ice creams and having 20 around. It's really nice to not deal with this shit anymore.