Or is it more BPD bullshit?

(I'm poly, my partner is poly, and the BPD person I'm writing about is his ex partner, M. We all lived together for about a year, before he broke up with her because of her abusive behavior)

So while we were on vacation, M contacted my partner with a short message "My mom had a heart attack. I don't know what to do".

After that, no contact for DAYS.

It's sad that - given that she's a pwBPD - my first response isn't sympathy or wanting to offer support, but that it's "how is she going to milk this, this time?". I know I feel that way because of previous behavior for other bad (but not as bad as this) situations.

For instance, she was having some serious job troubles about six months ago, and messaged Harry, my partner, to tell him. I'm going to paraphrase that conversation, except for the last line, which is nearly verbatim (and in italics)

M: Hey, I just wanted you to know that X bad thing happened, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep this job.   Harry: Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that. That sucks.   M: Yeah, it's really hard, and I'm really upset and stressed about it. I don't know what to do, if I lose my job.   Harry: That sounds really hard and stressful. Please take care of yourself. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this.   M: Oh yeah? How sorry are you? Because the whole reason that I feel so crappy about this is because you broke up with me, so now I don't have you as a support system. If you were really sorry, you'd get back together with me.   Harry: That is bullshit, and I'm going now. Don't contact me as long as you're going to say things like that.

So yeah, she's a real sweetheart.

Anyhow, this particular time, he felt bad and was worried, but after he texted her a few times with no answer, he was like "well, there's nothing I can do. I hope everything is OK".

And then yesterday (nearly a week later), she finally called to let him know that she's gotten really sick with a bad head cold or something, so she didn't look at her phone for a few days, because she was too sick. Turns out, her mom is about as well as she can be. It was an extremely mild heart attack, and it happened when she was at work. Her mom works in a hospital, so she was in about the best place she could be. She's taking the next few weeks off, and has some meds, and hopefully, will be ok-ish. I can't really say "ok" because her mom is a very hardcore smoker and is very overweight, so there are a lot of fears that if those don't change, she's going to be doing a lot worse.

On one hand, I do feel bad for M. OTOH, I honestly think the whole "I couldn't check my phone for days because of my cold" thing is BS, and that she was fishing to see how frantic Harry would get. I just don't buy that you'd tell your ex that your mom had a heart attack, and then not update that person for over week, unless you yourself were dying of some sickness and physically unable to get to a phone.

It's really just sad, and I wish she'd finally get her shit together and get actual help, before her mom does die. But that doesn't seem likely.