I looked over the rules for posting, and while it looks like I could cross post, I want to be cautious and not, so I'll say that it can be found by looking at my name, and then the latest "Empty Ellie" post.

The thing that made me want to post here was that the BPD person said something along the lines of (I'm paraphrasing, emphasis mine):

BPDs feel things very deeply, are often more emotionally intelligent than many people, and on the flip side we get paranoid because we're so used to being right about people.

I'm thinking about the two people (my mom and my ex-metamour) I know well who are probably BPD when I read that statement. I'm thinking about all the things that both of them were "right" about in terms of people, in that people eventually "turning on them" or "abandoning them" was a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they both pushed and harmed and abused their way out of so many relationships.

And I just shake my head. It's so sad. So incredibly sad. And infuriating. My ex-metamour still trots out the old "I always knew you'd leave me" to my partner (as well as stuff like "I know you were just in a relationship with me to fuck me up more, and never really really loved me"), as though the part were she was horribly abusive has absolutely nothing to do with the break-up.

And amazingly, if she got help, he would still seriously consider a relationship with her. Which I'd say "blows my mind", expect that I still have a relationship with my mom, because it appears that she did get help, and even if she's never able to be "normal" emotionally, it is obvious that she tries, and as of now, she tries enough to make it worthwhile to still be in a relationship with her.

So I get it. And I still get angry at ex-meta, because if she just got freaking help, she'd probably slowly get Harry (my partner/our shared partner) back in her life, as well as feel some level of happiness and control. But no. She'd rather just keep being the way she is, being awful, and live in her own angry little hate-fueled world.