I’m going on 4 years with my BPD partner (I don’t know all the acronyms), but I have been exhausted of having to provide constant nonstop reassurance for 3 years now. I have been trying to explain to my partner for ages now how absolutely tiring it is having to constantly be essentially her emotional support animal, even when I have my own shit going on.

It’s several times a day, every day. Doesn’t matter what mood she’s in, I still have to provide it. Just ripped into me a moment ago? I still need to provide her with emotional support or I’ll just make everything worse by emphasizing a boundary. It’s like I can’t have anything going on in my own life. I just always be available for her emotions (her son is very similar, but that’s a whole other thing). She’s always like “It takes no time or energy to just make me feel better” and when I’ve tried explaining how tiring being an on-call emotional coach, she just can’t seem to comprehend that it’s incredibly draining.

I’m tired boss. I’m so tired. It just feels like I’ve lost all control over my life and I’m only valuable if I provide the constant validation and shit and I just feel so trapped. I get virtually no emotional support for myself and it’s like I’m just not supposed to ever talk about how her emotional instability affects me or need space to deal with my own issues.

I’m just always in this fucking storm.