So I either commented on a post or under one of my posts, promised to someone that I would share some print outs of my progress in neurofeedback. This may be a tad confusing to look at and I'll try my best to make this understandable but feel free to ask questions in the comments.

The first photo explains the effects that certain brain waves have on your thinking neurological. My brain training (neurofeedback therapy) mainly focuses on Alpha, Beta, and Theta as they are of the most significance on someone who has a traumatized brain or suffering from PTSD symptoms.

• Alpha brain waves- Are the primary waves that endure relaxation and focus

•Beta Brain waves-anxiety, high arousal, an inability to relax, and stress

•Theta Brain waves-you might feel a little sluggish or scattered.

Summary of my experience that drove me to find this form of therapy.

I had left a relation with my expwBPD. Long story short I'd been betrayed and lied to for the entirety of knowing one another and the 3year relationship. She'd been cheating online (which I personally do not understand why people have strictly online relationships but I digress). I found out. I was crushed. I couldn't believe that someone would be capable of doing the things she'd been doing to someone who'd done so much for them and not only was I her boyfriend but I was her bestfriend (not saying much as there was very little competition, go figure). I going stop overthinking. I couldn't sleep. I started having suicidal thoughts just to get my brain to shut off from being retraumatized after constantly trying to put it all together. Though I love my counselor. Talk therapy just wasn't working anymore. I cognitively knew all of the answers I don't wanna talk anymore. How do you turn off the mental symptoms. She referred me to an EMDR therapist because I was showing symptoms of PTSD.

After about 5 sessions of EMDR (Google about this) she let's me know she's also learning neurofeedback and if I'd like to participate. I said fuck it ANY gahdamn thing to get this shit out of my head.

I am a very visual person. I knew how I'd gotten here. But I just knew my brain was put of wack and not normal and I needed to SEE what was going on because talking wasn't helping and I'd had issues prior to the relationship.

The next 3 photos show the way my brainwaves have been organized (disorganized) from years of trauma. The order in which an optimal brain works. Is the Alpha waves(blue/purple line) should be at the top as you can see they are not.

Beta Brain waves (the yellow line) should be at the bottom

Theta Brain waves (magenta line) should be in the middle

In order, the first photo is my first session Jan. 6th.

Second photo was Jan. 28th my third session

Last photo was this passed Sunday

You can see the lines starting the make a shift in the right direction and I could honestly say all of my most negative symptoms that were affecting me daily have reduced substantially. My therapist told me that honestly I was probably doing the best out of all of her clients and I was even on par with recovery with her clients who've had twice as many brain training sessions as I. I could honestly say I never thought I make it this far. I just knew one day I would no longer be on this earth and by my own hand. Prior to the ending of the relationship I had NEVER and could NEVER understand why/how ppl could feel suicidal and now I do (did) but no more. When I tell you those thoughts are completely gone. And only after 5 sessions. Once a week. I'm on week 5.

Guys take it from me. There is help out there. So when you're sitting at home. Wondering how you'll proceed from here. EMDR has a success rate upwards of 85%-90% and neurofeedback do also. Combining the two therapies...you just can't go wrong.

I hope I did an okay job explaining. It's a rather difficult concept to grasp if you've not been in the therapy. But feel free to ask me any questions and I'll do my best to answer.

You all deserve love and healing! I stand by this format! I tell ppl about it incessantly.