Edit: am mad high go numb the bad feelings. Sorry if it am confusing at any points

My ex calls and by the end I told her she's a bad person and told her I don't respect her and that part of me hates her. She's now in the hospital cause she cut herself and her dad called to cops to check on her.

I don't know if I'm a bad person. I had to tell her how I felt. I had to tell her all the things she did to me.

She told me I was deflecting our relationship on being bipolar and autistic. I didn't even know I was autistic until very recently. She told me "if only you got therapy 3 years ago I wouldn't have had to do all this". By this she means falling in love with someone after 2 days. By this she means cheating on me multiple times. Even though I've been voluntarily hospitalized when needed and in therapy for most of our relationship. Even though she refused therapy for the entirety of our relationship. Even though 3 weeks ago i was "her everything".

I dont understand what's true and what's not. I told her yesterday "I do not want to talk". She said she wasn't going to call me. I don't know why she keeps calling me instead of her new boyfriend. I have to tell her to do it. When she does, her personality changes into something else, I think cause their in their honeymoon phase. Maybe she is really happy with him.

Either way, I hope she doesn't call me again this time around. I want to move on. I want to forget all this tbh.