I’ve thought a lot about what I want to actually post on here, and I think this is my most important question that I don’t have anyone I could actually ask.

TW for descriptions of self harm

So, when it comes closer to the time I decide to break up with him, I know I need to talk to his mom, she is an actual saint and I’m 100% that she would support me, I just know she would need time to be prepared, because his meltdowns are very destructive. I know the closest he’s come so succeeding in dying from slitting his wrist was when I was video calling him, and trying to talk about how his alcoholism is not something I can tolerate. The last time he hurt himself was when I sent him a meme that reminded him of his assumptions about my sexual history, he punched holes in his walls and completely destroyed his bedroom door, upwards of $1k in damages, he lives with his mom dad and younger brother and they have three dogs, Guinea pigs and a rabbit. He has in the past hurt himself with knives, razors, and art supplies in my apartment (I’m an art student I own a Lot of sharp things).

I don’t feel safe ending it in my apartment, I don’t like the added responsibility of the other people and animals at his place, I also don’t feel safe ending it in public, we live in a city where people are killed in hit and runs every other month he would run into traffic if he saw that as the most dangerous thing to do.

He has a therapist who we’ve been trying to do a couples session with, but he only sees him online I don’t know where his physical office is. He’s also just a big and strong guy, he could easily overpower his parents and I can see it taking at least three other strong guys to restrain him if needed (that’s a worst case scenario) the local police department also already has a file on him, and I do trust that if they needed to show up it would be done with well informed training for bpd, he also trusts them from his past experiences.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to keep everyone safe I’d really appreciate it, otherwise just any suggestions on how to smooth out what will be guaranteed hell fire :(