1,5 years ago during the second time my BPDso grew ice-cold towards me I obviously felt like crap.

We had been on a hike a few weeks prior and discussed our life-situations. The diskussion brought up how she hated our lives at the moment and wanted to try vanlife, me trying to please her agreed. So the day after we gave our 3 months notice for the apartment and set ur sight on acquiring a liveable campervan.

I managed to find a van that was already half built for year round living with 1,5 months to go for completing it. I worked my butt off everyday, while also supporting my partner who grew more and more distant. Until I broke down I just sat out in van crying for hours upon hours. While BPDso was out dating someone.

I had a depressive episode, not waiting to acknowledge why and instead telling myself it was the stress of being done in time to have somewhere to live I turned to a therapist for stress-support.

The first meeting was basically therapist talking about herself and how she became one, and me assuring her that I do believe she can do her job otherwise I wouldnt expect her to be there. Then we got into my problem. I told her about the coldness from my supposedly partner, that she was dating people instead of honoring our agreement to work together to actually get the van done on time. That I didnt know what to do because everytime i tried to open up about how i feel my partner would get defensive and turn ut around so I would be the one to comfort her, that I feared stuff would break again during some argument. And so on.

My therapist response:

"You could try starting small, a little hug whenever she gets home. Comforting her with actions instead of trying to verbally make your point. Take care of her she is probably stressed because your lives are changing right now. Just try and be there for her and she will come around."

This was my last meeting with that therapist, and I'm just going it over and over in my head, am I the crazy one? Is it me that is the problem after all?

Have any of you experienced something like this?