I’ve been in a 2 year relationship with my girlfriend now and it’s been an amazing but tiring experience. The highs are beautiful but the lows have been so draining and straining for us both. We’ve come to another point where we’re questioning what’s best for us.

I’m struggling because I love her to bits and I think she’s such a bright and beautiful person and I know I would be missing out on a whole other life if I lost her now. My problem stands at how I can’t understand that every issue we’ve had has been in someway my fault or part of a bigger picture that I’m not seeing. She has a lot to deal with in her own life and I understand I can’t truly know what it’s like to suffer from BPD but I know she works so hard and is so resilient to keep pushing through it all. However our arguments can feel very unfair and it’s always me who ends up apologising.

There have definitely been a few times when it was me who was in the wrong and I take full accountability for that. But then there have also been plenty of other times where we’ve had arguments that I can’t remember what it was that even started them. It usually comes down to me having the wrong perspective on something and that there’s always more context I’m missing out on. Perhaps all these arguments are actually my fault and I’m not the right one for her but if she says I am who she says I am then I’m just very lost.

I really just want her to be happy because I feel like all I’m doing is constantly hurting her.

Please if anyone could just help with why we argue so much and is it actually me who’s always in the wrong. And maybe if lying is common because I feel like I’ve been on right on things only to be told I’m wrong.