Cross-posting from r/BPD - I'm looking for help / advice / any insight into how I can understand, and help, with my partner's intimacy issues.

Yesterday I made a post to the bipolar subreddit; But after reading posts here I thought I should ask here as well (honestly don't know why I didn't think of this sooner!).

I understand there are a lot of components to intimacy issues in general; However, I understand Bipolar comes with a different set of challenges (is that the right word?). Until today I haven't considered whether or not Borderline Personality Disorder might come with its own challenges - so I thought I'd get this sub's opinion on what I can do.

What I think might be a characteristic of BPD vs Bipolar, in this context, is that he's mentioned many times that he's afraid of fucking up with me. We've had conversations on why he'd flirt with other people but not me; it's usually the same answer - he does it with others because there's no consequences if it goes wrong, but is afraid of something bad happening if he's extra flirtatious with me. That extends to the bedroom as well; He'll say he wants to make me feel good but is simultaneously really afraid of something going wrong and him messing up. Or that he's not good enough.

I have tried to be as reassuring as I can be - and HONESTLY reassuring too. I tell him a lot - and I mean it every time - that he is good enough. More than good enough, really. I reassure him of how much I love him, that I'm not going anywhere, that I'm not going to leave him, and that he'd have to try really hard to push me away. He'll tell me he's afraid of planning for the future, and I'll tell him not to worry about the future, but the here and now. That I'm here, now, and I'm not going anywhere. He's worried about the future because things never go his way if he tries to plan something out long term.

Also: I am very new to this. I've never had a partner with either neurodivergent traits before, let alone both at the same time. If I'm not saying something tactful enough, or if it looks like I'm missing something that might be obvious to everyone else, please say so.

I want to be the very best I can be for my boy, and have a very long and happy relationship with him. What else can I do? What am I missing or not understanding here?