I used to hate my mom. She has untreated bpd and would get mean when drunk. She would ember hurt me. She just wouldn’t love me on my terms. She could only love me on hers. She was mentally abusive in many ways. She made me as fearful of everything as she ooosbly could to keep me safe. At least in her mind. I had to be mentally the adult, But since I have I realized she is mentally ill and confronted her about her behavior and she broke down crying. She has since been to AA and when I asked her what she liked doing for fun……. She couldn’t answer. It made me so sad. I feel for her. She is growing and I know how to avoid her triggers. Tho I still accidentally do it. I hav been told I do it on purpose and maybe I do. Maybe I am resentful still, But we are in a much better place. I love her. She is my mom and we se each other. She is a year sober and I am so happy. She is so much better. She told me she can’t imagine loving your parent. But I told her I forgive her and I asked her to trust me that I loved her and she said she would. It’s messy but I count it as a win