it’s not even that i’m single that i’m upset it’s like… the constant opening up to someone and the second they get a glimpse of how depressed i am and how distorted my self image is they book it. i can’t even be upset with them because i UNDERSTAND how scary it is. it sucks feeling like a monster because i wasn’t taught how to regulate my emotions and love myself. why is it my fault? i want so badly to be loved in the way that i love others, but my love is obsession and it’s not healthy. i aknowledge this isn’t how people are suppose to feel but god it hurts so fucking badly. i wish those bursts of happiness stayed instead of distorting into the most painful heartaches and debilitating anxiety someone could ever feel by something so small like not receiving a text back. we always pick the most emotionally unavailable people to feed into our abandonment issues. i want to be normal