I’m at a domestic violence and sexual assault training. We started talking about different forms of stalking and we got to a certain form that is mostly perpetrated by women. It’s called Erotomania. The speaker, who is an expert in this field, went on to describe these perpetrators of this form of stalking as “full blown crazy… like classic borderline personality disorder crazy.” I raised my hand and clarified whether she meant that this was genuinely correlated to BPD or if she was using it just to illustrate an image. She said she’s never come across data to suggest those with BPD engage in this form of stalking any more than the general population.

So why would she say that? This is a women deep in the trenches of working with victims of trauma who suffer mental illness. You’d think, of all people, she wouldn’t get in front of a room full of people and perpetuate a dangerous, over simplified narrative of this disorder. I hear psychiatrists, therapists, nurses— all sorts of professionals, say terrible things about people with BPD. They don’t realize they’re saying it to someone with this diagnosis, which just goes to show how poor their understanding of this illness is. Frustrating and hurtful. They should know better. Who is going to advocate for us if we can’t even count on the experts?