On top of being bpd things have been rough. Today is my late mom's birthday. The first one since she's been dead. I don't want to work today. I want to take a mental day so bad. However given the parts issues at work and knowing we are running smaller numbers this week and next week, (Probably the next few weeks after that as well but has yet to be confirmed.) I need the money.

I've been with the company 3 weeks so I don't have PTO yet or I'd do that. I've been on my period for a month. (Endometriosis). So as soon as that health insurance kicks in I'm going to the Gyno. I can't help but feel like someone's going to look at me wrong and I'm going to explode by yelling at them or crying. I'm trying to stay strong. I'm just exhausted and I've only been up a few hours