Is this something that is common for someone with BPD?

I have my own fight responses due to cptsd and as I read and learned about BPD I felt like I was coming to a place of understanding with myself and with my ex. I’ve been working on myself a ton, going to extra therapy, and trying not to engage with anger as my ex distorted and split.

However, as my reactions were lessened and as I engaged with her lashing out less at the end of our relationship, it seemed like her behavior towards me got worse. As I learned to not be as reactive, her anger seemed to well up and spill out more frequently.

At the end, I would literally tell her I love and care about her as she attacked me and that would send her into even more of a rage. She told me she wasted her time with me.

She knows I have abandonment triggers and would tell me she’s never talking to me again at least 20 times.

The more steady I got, and the less reactive I was to her lashing out, the more angry she got.

She would block and unblock me on email various social media, my phone (which I engaged with but then stopped blocking her because I didn’t feel it was healthy for either of us, both having abandonment triggers).

She pulled tricks to try to make me look bad, like telling me in text to email her stuff she said she “never got”, then she said I emailed her after she told me not to contact her. She used sock puppets to contact and engage with me and then she engaged me to attack me and called and texted again.

She publicly accused me of keeping her stuff after a breakup (there multiple breakups) when all I said was I needed two days because I was going through something and couldn’t deal with her taking her stuff until the weekend. Instead of respecting that boundary, she said she’d send over her friends to get one bag and they came over and tried to get all her stuff and dropped off all of my things which I had no space for at the time, in the middle of something very stressful I was going through. Then she got back together with me on that Saturday. This was before the final breakup.

I asked her to take her stuff when we got back together and she didn’t and then did the same thing 4 weeks later after I helped her build out her new business.

It felt like she was trying to build a court case or somethjng to garner sympathy via public opinion (she was being very public about these accusations) and engaging in dirty tricks to prove some kind of point that I was a bad person. It’s very painful.

She tried to damage my relationships with some of my female friends (claiming the relationships were all unhealthy, and accusing me of cheating with some of them which I wasn’t).

She recently had emailed someone and that person forwarded me the emails which were distorted and seemed like an attempt to get this person to stop speaking with me. Lots of accusations of how I was a bad person, but no specifics. It was very hurtful and I wrote my ex an email saying so. I told her I loved her and that this behavior was hurting me.

She then reached out via DM (not email, because I think she wants to keep a narrative that she’s being “stalked via email” when I only sent 4 or 5 emails over a two month period other than the forwards that she asked for via DM). It all feels extremely manipulative.

Last night, she was particularly cruel and blocked me again after I told her that her actions hurt me very badly and asked her to be considerate towards me because of that power she wields over my heart.

Is this something that people with bpd tend to do to others? Or is this cruelty and chaos something separate from BPD?