Hi all, So I have something that’s really bothering me as of late. I’ve done things like webcam work before and in March I decided to post NSFW images on Reddit (along with starting an OF). This was after I had a really good period of mental health and physical improvement (lots of weight loss) and I felt really confident about my body. It was good to get the acknowledgment and OF actually brought in a little bit of extra money to fuel my spending habits. Just this week though, right after I started doing webcam work again, I suddenly felt really really bad about myself. Thinking thoughts like ‘you’re a whore for doing this’ ‘you don’t even enjoy doing it it’s just about the money’ ‘what would your friends/family/coworkers think of this?’ ‘It’s clear you have no talent or ambition if you stooped this low’. And just like that I broke down, felt like I should just disappear/off myself and had no self love anymore. The worst of it all is that I’ve done this before and had the same experience, so I knew What was coming.

I just wish I could focus on something that wouldn’t destroy my mental health and social connections, but still gives the same affirmation and satisfaction.