Outside of my one high school relationship, the other person has always broken whatever we have off within 3 dates/hookups or less. I always get crushed. It's unproductive to blame myself, but I am kind of the common denominator here. I know I'm clingy and needy and moody and overwhelming. I don't know what it is specifically, but it's something I'm doing. I don't imagine anyone getting to genuinely know me and wanting to stick around. Even fucked up people are scared off. Nobody has wanted to date me for like, 6 years. I'm lonely. Once, someone ghosted me right after we met irl for the first time after talking for a few months. That really hurt.

It's hard not to blame yourself. I try to use skills, and wise mind says I can't know why people leave, but I know. I feel it. I always know when it's coming, and wise mind tells me not to worry over nothing, and then it fucking happens anyway.