I'll be turning 30 next month. If Covid didn't exist - I would be going on a cruise with my sister to the Bahamas. We've never taken a trip together. It really would have been wonderful.

This year brought a lot of change to my life. My partner and I were able to heal from traumas within our relationship. We are now doing better than ever. But unfortunately several "friends" disappeared from my life. I've sort of reached the point where it doesn't bother me but if I see photos of those people, I'm instantly triggered. These are people I loved and looked out for - to just throw me out like trash hurts.

It leaves me thinking, what do they have that I don't? But I have to check myself. NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU. DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF FOR THEM! PEOPLE GROW APART! (all of my ex friends became besties after ditching me)

So yeah...I'm turning 30. My friend circle is more like a dot. My husband loves me endlessly. My family too. My biggest fear is that I'll end up like my parents. Mom is severe BPD, no friends, no lasting relationships. My dad...isn't diagnosed but I swear he's just as bad. The only feeling he knows is misery. Please don't let me grow old, hated, and alone. PLEASE!