hey all,

i & my partner were dating a woman with BPD for a few months now. i broke it off & wanted to get to know her better as a friend than a lover this week because i was being emotionally drained trying to support her in the best way i could, nothing i did was good enough for her, & i felt she wasn’t physically attracted to me. a few close friends of mine have BPD but they have a fairly good handle on their symptoms whereas the woman we were seeing does not take her medication regularly & is seeking new counseling.

still, i just can’t help but feel guilty. even after loads of research on how to best support a partner who has BPD, nothing i did made an affect on her outlook towards life or us giving her space to be herself & grow & lean on us for support. she’s still dating my partner tho but they haven’t spoken since i ended things. she’s also unfriended/unfollowed on all social media. (not abnormal but still sucks since i expressed i’d like to still be on friendly terms)

any advice?

EDIT: i will add that i have clinical depression & anxiety so i’m also neurodivergent but not to the level of BPD