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Hello everyone. I have been diagnosed with BPD for about 5 years now.
Ever since I became sexually active, I have always tied my worth to sex. If my partner didn’t want to sleep with me I would feel worthless and inadequate; surely they don’t love me anymore. I have had sex with 2 people ever. One of them I am currently in a relationship with. This relationship is the most wonderful experience of my life so far.
But recently I am burdened with thoughts of inadequacy and worthlessness when I think about my sexual experience. My girlfriend has had more sexual partners than me. So have all of my friends, by a significant amount. I know sex doesn’t make you “cool”, and I do have sex now, but I still feel like a LOSER.
I don’t have the capacity for casual sex. It is too serious for me. I feel broken and alone about this. Why is it so easy for other people to give themselves to someone???!!!! What is wrong with me?!!?!??
If anyone has advice about severing your self worth from sex, please let me know. I need help. Thank you for reading
i had an issue with making friends through sex and then feeling like they were only friends with me because i had sex with them. thats kinda the opposite of your situation but still involved sex being tied to self worth. what ive been doing, because that sucked, is trying to focus as much as possible on things other than sex. for me that means im being celibate and avoiding relationships for 6 months, and ive decided casual sex is not for me. since youre in a relationship, that might mean investing more time in your own interests or non-sexual fun things with your partner.
i saw someone else comment that your mindset is what led them to gaining a lot of experience and i think thats what happened to me too.
the best sex youll ever have is with someone youre in love with. thats what got me to realize i dont want casual sex. and anyway there is So much you can experience with one partner! im looking foreward to the next chance i get to build a long, trusting relationship.
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