TL;DR: Neighbours called the police on me while having a bpd anger outburst, thinking my boyfriend is abusing me. (He is 100% not) Now I feel so bad and embarrassed and the neighbours still think im being beaten and don't even say hello to my bf anymore.

My boyfriend is the first person that I have been able to heal my bpd with. (We have been together for a little over 3 years now) I have these really bad "bpd outbursts" a few times a year, but its not as bad as it was years ago when I was with my ex. I have made progress and am in a much better place and with a better person now . I'm in a healthy relationship and he is very understanding and deals as best as he can with my outbursts and panic attacks when I get them.

A few week ago I was having a violent bpd outburst of anger and crying. I was also shouting to my boyfriend and it probably sounded like we were violently fighting because my boyfriend needed to raise his volume to be able to get me to listen and snap out of it. He was also stressed but the argument started on a really minor thing on my part and thinking it back it was a stupid thing and I just think my bpd brains took over. I don't really even remember what the thing was properly now.

My neighbours called the police to my door. They thought there was being violence happening between us (my boyfriend beating me). I explained the situation and also thanked them.I am thankful that my neighbours would care if violence was taking place. However there is not, never has been and never will be. We both are a bit fiery people sometimes but my bf has never been a violent person even though he is dealing with his own (and my) things and I'm trying to deal with mine. police understood and left after they talked to both of us.

However I am now SO EMBARRASSED! the overwhelming guilt is getting over me and I dont wanna even see my neighbours again! We haven't fought since and its been a few weeks but a few times I have seen my neighbours they have been staring at us when im with my bf and they don't say hello to him anymore, only to me, and I'm assuming they are thinking that he is beating me. I feel so bad for the neighbours, of course they don't have to listen fighting but right now also for my bf, because he didn't do anything wrong and I am the reason why the police came. I'm not sure if I should leave a note for them or go to their door to explain the situation still, but I'm kind anxious and embarrassed to do that too.

Anyone here have experiences or advice?