So I'm currently seeing a guy. We both have bpd which is nice in a way because we both understand each other. I'm super happy with him and we want to date but we're saying it slow before making things official.

The only problem is he has an addiction to Findommes. In particular one who is so much prettier and better than me in every way. He keeps reassuring me that's not the case but idk I cant shake the feeling that I'm not good enough. It sends my bpd brain into overdrive.

He said he also wants so explore poly which is fine but idk, I'm so jealous. I know I need to knock that off and it's not cute and it's just the stupid trauma talking but like he was on Facebook dating today while I was laying in his arms. I have this need to be the best at all times which I know isn't healthy.

I'm never gonna be good enough am I? Should I leave because of the amount of times I've been triggered? It's not fair to him or me. Idk I really really like him. He's perfect besides those few rhings.

Idk man, I hate everything.