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so after my last breakup i decided to take intentional time to be single because i’ve almost always been in a relationship, and i realized i’ve been using relationships to fill the void (and honestly fulfill a sort of parent role i never received as a child). i really want to work on my codependent tendencies.
but FUCK!!! it’s hard!!! it’s hard not having someone to tell me they love me and give me physical affection and validation everyday. like how do i know that i even matter? that i even deserve to be alive? that anyone even appreciates my existence? that anyone would notice if i died?
i’m lucky to have some great friends but as much as i love platonic love, it does not fill the same role as a partner does, at least the way our society is set up. tbh i would love to have a platonic life partner someday though.
i’m open to dating casually and i’m poly. but i also got friend zoned by someone i went on two dates with so my rejection sensitivity is pretty bad rn ugh. like damn…i feel so undesirable rn!!! fuck!!!!
idk man i’m just taking it day by day and trying to stay busy and try new things, engage in my hobbies, hang out with friends, but also accepting that sometimes i’m just fucking sad and that’s okay lol. let me go listen to my heartbreak playlist again…
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