Following up on my previous post about IFS and BPD, I wanted to share some crucial information about traumatic invalidation. This concept is fundamental to understanding why many of us with BPD experience the world the way we do.

Traumatic invalidation occurs when our environment repeatedly or intensely communicates that our characteristics, behaviors, or emotional reactions are unacceptable. This is PARTICULARLY impactful when it comes from people or institutions we're close to or dependent on.

Here are some common forms of traumatic invalidation:

• Being criticized, mocked, or told your feelings are wrong
• Having your emotional needs neglected or dismissed
• Being ignored or treated as unimportant
• Having your perceptions and reality denied
• Being controlled or treated as incapable of making decisions
• Being blamed for things outside your control
• Being excluded from important activities
• Experiencing discrimination or unequal treatment

The impact of this invalidation can be PROFOUND, leading to:

• PTSD symptoms like avoiding reminders, intrusive memories, and intense emotional reactions
• Self-invalidation - we learn to treat ourselves the same way others treated us
• Difficulty trusting ourselves and our perceptions
• Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves
• Feeling deeply insecure in relationships
• A pervasive sense of being "invalid" or fundamentally wrong

This connects directly to my previous post about IFS - these responses aren't character flaws or symptoms to be eliminated. They're protective adaptations that developed in response to traumatic invalidation. Understanding this has been CRUCIAL in my healing journey.

I'm sharing the full document about traumatic invalidation [here] for those who want to learn more. It's from "Treating Trauma in Dialectical Behavior Therapy" by Melanie S. Harned.

For those struggling with BPD or its symptoms, know that your reactions make sense given what you've experienced. Your parts developed these responses to protect you from invalidation. Understanding this framework has helped me shift from shame about my responses to curiosity about how they've tried to help me survive.

Has anyone else noticed how traumatic invalidation has shaped their experiences? How has understanding this concept impacted your healing journey?