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My best friend today burned down our friendship. We both are Dx BPD. Literally the most important person in my life, not just because of the bond but our symptoms presented in the same ways. Same triggers, same responses etc. She was the one person in this world that truly understood me.
What blows my mind tho is that I'm fine. I'm sad, I can feel the ever present ocean of despair in me just waiting for me to fall into it, but im actually ok. Likely because she was devalued in an instant to protect me from what I should be going thru.
I can say I'm not sure I ever want to let anyone get close to me ever again. I've held out hope for years of meaningful friendships even finding a partner. Now I'm not so sure.
Thanks for reading, I have no one to talk to anymore, and this feels more productive than screaming into the void
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- 1 month ago
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